Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king

michelle
psalms 27:4
RJC Humans
IGNYTE, Trinity@PL
child of God

-11:31 am

It's time for SPRING CLEANING!

Just threw out a whole mountain (okay more like hill) full of clothes a few days ago, which strangely consisted mostly of tops which were so short they hardly cover up enough. I haven't really worn them though. Don't know how on earth they appeared in my closet. Mummy forced me to clean out unwanted stuff. She thinks I have too many items that I don't wear often enough. Which is somewhat true. Now that I've gotten rid of the unworn and unwanted, I realise I do not actually have that many clothes (according to my standards). Still, I think mum has decided that I've bought enough clothing items for the year. Okay I have a decent variety I guess. But there will be no end to wants. Decent and ideal are different. (:

Now I have the other half of my room to clean- my desk and the second half of the cupboards. Piles of books, files and stacks of loose sheets of paper, which vaguely resemble long lost econs worksheets and other miscellaneous documents are sitting around, adding to the incredible clutter. It's a sore and sorry sight, I must admit. Apparently, my filing system is vastly inadequate. Either that, or that I'm just too lazy to consistently file up my stuff. My auto clean up function is just not working, by choice or default, I can't quite tell.

As you can see, I'm putting off organising that part of my room. But thou shalt not procrastinate! Be strong Michelle. After you're done, the immense sense of satisfaction will offset all opportunity cost and labour pains of clearing up your room. The sacrifice of time is well worth the cause.

But first, I'll have lunch and watch Oprah on TV. (:
0comments



-10:13 pm

*Blissful sigh* I just got home from a very satisfying and fruitful shopping expedition with my mum. It's our annual year-end spending to supplement our wardrobes etc. Robinson and John Little's having this 20% discount/rebate thing for members and we've been down twice to buy stuff. Today's the last day. Though we didn't exactly splurge or purchase that many items, the things we did buy cost quite a substantial amount each. New black and white floral print skirt! Whoopeee. Finally a pretty, neutral skirt that I can match coloured tops with. (:

Mummy was very happy too with the good harvest, (: despite the pain of parting with cash (invisibly- she used her credit card, which is even worse- you don't see the money going out). Like mum remarked at the end of the day, spending money is easy, fun, exciting, exhilaration and rewarding (temporarily, until you realise you might have overspent). But earning money is so difficult. Every time I contemplate spending, there's always this stressful tug-of-war going on in my head. I hate to feel guilty for buying something's that's more a want than a need. And, it's not like my parents are rich either. There are always better ways to spend that amount of money used to buy clothes/accessories/gadgets etc. I always feel guilty when spending my parents' money. Though they may agree to buy something I want, after the purchase is done, this niggling sense of guilt somehow plagues me for a while. Is this abnormal?

Anyways, there needs to be a balance (as always) in spending and saving. One can't hoard up treasures on earth which you can't bring to heaven with you. You never know when you'll die a miserly millionaire with this huge amount of $$ stashed somewhere unused, wasted. It's quite sad to live a life of near poverty because you save like a compulsive obssessive hoarder, depriving yourself of the joys of life, things the Lord made for us to take pleasure in and utilise. God will provide.

Of course, we need to work hard and save as well. I'm not saying that a spendthrift lifestyle is right. Or that you don't need to save- just not to the extent that you miss out on the things that God means for us to enjoy. I'm saying that spend within your limits, for your needs and maybe wants, if you can afford just a little indulgence. We need to be good stewards of what God has given us. (:

Anyhow, I've caught the shopping bug for a long time now. In the past, I was able to pride myself on hating to shop. I used to shop like a man- go armed with a purpose, zoom in on my target purchase, buy it and leave. But now, oh dear. Everything catches my eye. Saw this really cool fitted jacket with a great cut and design but it costs 80 bucks. I'd love to have it in my wardrobe but well. Haha. It blows the top off my budget extravagantly.

Will miss shopping in Malaysia with it's Year End Sale this year. Youth camp clashes with family holiday and my parents are going ahead without the three of us. But thank God they've allowed us to go for camp. Somehow. I never would have imagined mum doing that but she did. Would miss spending time with the family as well. But just one encounter with God is worth so much more than 5 days of shopping, water theme parks and fun. Looking forward to camp... can't wait can't wait! (: (: (: (:
0comments



-9:25 pm

I'm positive I'm balding. Like a handful of strands a time. Every single time I run my fingers through my hair, it's like- oh dear.

Geez.

Still, I shall keep growing my hair. Too lazy to get it cut and I'm still not at the length where I can do nice stuff with it yet. And too tired to try other shampoos/hair stuff.

Holidays. Got to take a REAL break. Doesn't feel like a holiday to me. Weekends are just as busy. But I don't want to be busy. I want to be fruitful, yet rested. Yes- rested. Not be perpetually stressed or lacking in sleep.

Someone just told me, "Michelle... you the steady lah".

I'm only steady in God lah. On my own, I'm a mess.

CCLT. Pastor Pat said something that struck me: the more you grow as a leader, the more dependent you are on God. Wow. Yes you grow more capable, technically, in terms of skills. But at the same time we grow more reliant on God because that's what spiritual maturity and intimacy is all about.

It takes guts to say, "God, I know I can't. So I want to be more dependent on You." Good 'ol pride must be out of the way. That's where I want to be headed. Time to be vulnerable, inadequate and dependent. But when I'm weak, I am strong, because His power is made perfect in weakness.

Lord, I really need Your grace.


2 Corinthians 12:9

0comments



-3:55 pm

T'was my folly.
So what's new?
Never should have, and never will again.
It's the result of my own actions,
can't blame anyone else.

Thanks for setting me free,
opening my eyes to see.
I owe much to you.
This sobering reality-
a burst of ice cold water
woke me up,
somewhat a little late but
better now than later.
Feels good. (:

True friends are like mirrors.
They aren't afraid to tell you who you really are
And show you the reality of circumstances
So that you can stop deluding yourself.
The truth hurts, but only for a while.
True friends are God-given.
I'm glad I have them.
I'm glad God gave them to me.
Thank You Lord.
0comments



-3:54 pm

Weird.

Some guy called Bryan from some wellness company VE Ptd Ltd just called me on my mobile. Apparently I've been shortlisted to go down for an interview. And I think I'm supposed to be honoured and elated? *quizzical look* I thought he was going to pull a market survey on me. He was rather vague at first but only after the first 5 minutes did I find out that it was for a job of some sort, ambiguously described as "helping to expand the business because we might be going regional next year". The company is into nano-tech, biomed and other products so I patiently explained that I had no interest in business and I'm an arts student. (I bet he already knew that.) He said, "Oh no worries, it might appear sciencey, but you'll be dealing with other stuff like customer service etc."

O-kay.

"Yeah, you can call it a job if you like, but I don't really see it that way," he said when I asked him if it's a vocation thing. I was like, "Huh?" If it's not a job, then WHAT IS IT? A partnership? Exploitation of student labour? Does that mean I don't get paid?

Oh wait. I should have asked him if I'll get paid for this. It's kind of impolite but still, it's an important piece of information. People respond to incentives, remember? I need to make normal profit in order to cover the opportunity cost of putting my time into this dubious job thing. He said that we'll discuss how I can help the company and my time commitment tomorrow, and "maybe ask you about your vision for your life". Riight. This is soooo strange.

Still, despite the somewhat exciting albeit questionable prospect of earning some much-needed mulah this holidays, it's kind of freaky when some stranger calls you up and starts confirming your personal details with you e.g. "You're from RJC right? Year 1 or Year 2?"

And how did you know, may I ask?

I know it was quite rude but I couldn't help asking him how he got my number. His nonchalant reply was, "Oh we got it from HR... It's like that in the business world. Information just gets passed around."

I'd like to know exactly how.

I really shouldn't get my hopes up though. For all you know, this entire thing might be a sham. With a real office at 39 Robinson Road, Robinson Point level 10. You never know, right? There's the question of my time (I can only commit for these two months, which isn't a lot of time, considering I'll be busy with other stuff too) and whether it'll be worth it even if I could take it up. Anyways this is so dubious. It is very dubious in fact.

So... Tomorrow, I might put on "not say formal, but executive office wear" (in this overly-friendly guy's words) to this place that I've never been to before, to meet someone whom I've never met before, to get myself a job that I've never done before.

(Haha yeah, I'm sure.)

I think I'll just call him back to cancel.
0comments



-10:22 pm

This somehow does not feel like the holidays at all.

Glad I survived econs today. Realised that mainstream teaching is very different from the humans. The answers were more "geoggish"/ common sensical compared to the more theoretical approach we normally use. Met Mr. Sowden after that for consultation. He's real nice and patient with me. (: I wonder why he's teaching at RJC with a PhD. Overqualified. X-inefficiency? *grin*

Hannah Montana is funny! And "awww..." inducing. I think I'm succumbing to the saccharine-sweet, didactic comedy/sitcom types that Disney Channel usually offer, though I think Drake and Josh doesn't really fall into that category. BRAIN-NUMBING TV. I find myself slumming in front of the TV quite a lot nowadays. Bad...

But Animal Planet's really bringing me back to my childhood passion for animals. I love Steve Irwin and his shows. His wildlife warrior fervour just burns through the screen- very palpable and inspiring. Watching his animated, larger than life persona on screen, I still can't quite believe he's not around anymore. Such a tragedy; they were a beautiful family.

Do you get the feeling that I'm just writing about random stuff for the sake of updating? Yeah because I am. I'm putting off practising for guitar practice tomorrow. Adios Nonino is practically a nightmare, for the first two pages. At least guitar 4 has it easier than the rest (I think).

SYF. Scary stuff. Hope I don't bomb out.
0comments



-10:34 pm




0comments



-10:45 pm

You've taught me so much about myself, about love and about life; about what it means to love selflessly, in hope, perseverance and a relentless belief. You've nurtured the seedling of faith in me and helped me grow, helped me see things in a new way and inspired me to live a life of faith, of holiness for His glory. You believed in me, and taught me to believe in myself. I found strength in how you found strength in the Lord in difficult situations.

Your life has been a tremendous testimony which spoke without you having to say a word, and so encouraged me to walk closer to our Heavenly Father. Your humility means that you probably might not know the extent of the impact you've made in my life, and I believe, in the lives of many others as well. But I know you're aware of the plan God has for you. And I know you're walking in the path He has set out for you faithfully, step by step.

I love talking with you, just sharing our hearts, giggling over funny things and idiosyncrasies. I love your innocence, your girlishness, your childlike faith and gentle spirit. Up til now, you still remind me of a warm, white bunny- cute, mild-tempered and serene. You're one of the sweetest girls I've ever met. I love the way we pray together, building up our faith and believing for God to come through for us.

Uh-oh I know this sounds like a eulogy. But hey, why only tell people how much they mean to you when they aren't around anymore? (:

All in all, I pray we'll stay sisters, kindred spirits, the closest of friends.

Come what may, my heart nor memory will never allow me to forget such a dear friend like you. I pray that we'll be able to walk the rest of the journey together, see each other continue to serve and grow, eventually get married, start a family and grow old together, just like we've always dreamt of.

The greatest gift you've given me is the precious gift of your love and friendship.

0comments



-3:53 pm




0comments



-9:57 pm

Steven Curtis Chapman

(listen)

I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart

And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
'cause this love to lose its hold

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in
0comments



-6:12 pm

My brothers just got a PS2 as a gift from my neighbour. Doomsday. As if their addiction to Maple Story isn't enough. Came home today and found them playing some racing game called Midnight Club II. It was intriguing enough and I soon realise that I'm rather inept at virtual racing. I kept crashing into things (cars, lamp posts and innocent pedestrians) and once gloriously landed my car in the river after barging through the railing. My pathetic attempts at turning (I'm always overshooting the turn) and trying to stay on course were entertaining for my brothers. But lousy racing skills aside, it's fun. I'd better watch out though. If not, I'd get hooked on it. Can't afford that when Chinese is in less than two days.

I want to go for CPM and IGNYTE prayer tonight! But I know Parents will frown upon the idea. Not spending enough time studying, they say, spending too much time in church, they say. I've got to give it my best shot this time. But somehow I feel that what I study might only help for a really tiny portion of the paper. Anyhow, like a good kiasu Singaporean, I will just "bao ka liao" (means "cover everything" in Hokkien).

Went to Hotel Miramar for an international buffet lunch on Monday with the family. The food wasn't exactly as good as I expected but it definitely wasn't mediocre. But I must say, the fish head curry is worth a mention. It was really good! I ate quite a few helpings of that to the amusement of my grandma. I went prepared with a strategy to prevent the regret of having eaten too much - I took only one piece of food from the dishes that looked appetising (I didn't bother with the rest) and tried them. If I liked it, I'd go for a proper helping. I'm a food person and sometimes, stomach rules head. Joe was just wolfing down plate after plate of food, while I had to take 20 minute breaks in between trips to the buffet table. It was amazing! And his tummy didn't look like it expanded at all after all that eating. I always wonder where all the food end up, or the carbo for that matter because he is (so unfairly) stick thin.

Then there was the ice-cream too, but only with a disappointing selection of 4 rather normal flavours like sweetcorn and raspberry ripple. The coffee flavour wasn't bad but it was such a shame that they ran of mint ice cream before I got to try it. But all in all, it was a good time of family bonding and like Pastor Dennis and his belief in food theology, I believe a family that eats together stays together. Grandma was happy and satisfied (with repeated helpings of her favourite egg tofu) and full of what I guess is the pure joy of being with family.

I thank God for food. Eating is really the best activity to fellowship over. I guess that's why I am this size. Oh dear, I just realised that Dad's going to ta pao back a potful of traditional Heng Hua Lor Mee later, a family favourite. Resist, Michelle. You have stopped growing upwards so anymore food and you'll grow sideways even faster. Repeat after me, "A moment on the lips, forever on the hips... A moment on the lips, forever on the hips..."

Like I said, thank God for food, and for our ability to enjoy food. I wish He'd put in an auto-stopper/appetite-curbing thingamajig though.
0comments

ben
brian
carissa
charis
charisse
charmaine
chloe low
chuyi
dinesh
jeanette tham
jesselyn
jonathan
mike
nicholas
rachel
shuang
timolty
tinghui adeline
alexiel
glen
mingzong
sandra

aditi
avonne
bren
elspeth
fianza
juliet
pamela
rachel ang
ren hui
sabrina
sara
suat


June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007

Dear friends,

To comment, please

1. click on the "comment" link. The page will refresh to the home page


2. click on "entries" to display the specific post on which you wish to comment


3. click on "entries" again and you will reach the comments page


4. to go back to the main entries page, click on "links" and select the current month from the archives list.
   
   

My most sincere apologies for the inconvenience. I know it's troublesome. But I do hope that it will not deter you from posting your valuable opinions though. If all else fails, there is still the tagboard. (:



layout: jeanette
brushes: moargh
image: dibii
fonts : dafont