lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Sunday, July 23, 2006
-6:57 pm
Life's beautiful.
I've never felt so... happy before. Ok maybe more like blissful? It's a combination of peace, joy and love, like I just can't keep myself from hugging the next person I see or just dancing around in jubilation. Why, you might ask. I honestly don't know. Things are still the same- far from perfect. Not all my prayers have been answered. Even though I still face heartache and rough times, there's this stillness in me that keeps me from crumbling or caving in to the demands of the world. I just find myself waking up most mornings feeling so happy and thankful to be alive, to be breathing the fresh, cool morning air, to see the marvelous blend of colours and light in the morning sky and feeling the crunch of the dew wet grass under my feet as I walk to school. It's weird. But if I may hazard a guess, I would say it's my God of Wonders. (:
A simple appreciation being able to breathe, see, hear, taste, smell and touch, knowing there's so much more to life than what most people think goes such a long way.
I've always lamented a lack of a certain kind of radio station that I'll truly enjoy listening to. Not that I shun mainstream music; it's just that nowadays, everything's either angsty, sad, lovesick, depressing or too full of stuff about sex/vulgarities that I can't stand listening to anything else other than 92.4 and the international station (that's why I sometimes find myself listening to some guy reading the news in french). Music and songs are now centered on things/people other than the One who enabled us to create them. To me, music was meant for glorifying God.
Thanks to Bro. Vic's recommendation, I've found great alternatives. My only grouse is that I need a PC for it. I can't listen to it when I'm on the move. Anyhow, seeing that I need to broaden my music horizons so that I can grow in my craft and creativity, listening to the radio's more economic than buying CDs.
Give live streaming a try:
http://www.christianradio.com/worldstations.aspThe Aussie station Inspire 103.2 FM's my kind of station. Great music, not a lot of talking.
Life's just wonder-full. (:
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Friday, July 14, 2006
-6:40 pm
No, this blog won't be left for ruin. For those who have been concerned with the seemingly impending demise of my beloved blog, fret not. I'll still be posting my thoughts here, or articles on random topics just to amuse myself. (:
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Sunday, July 09, 2006
-2:04 pm
No, I'm not going to subcontract/outsource blogging to a private firm so that the monopoly of this one-writer blog can be eliminated. Heh. This is what happens when you study too hard for economic geog- you start spouting weird things like these.
Anyways, because of the risk of possibly losing my entire archive of writings due to the impermanence/ lack of reliability of the Internet/Blogger, I have decided to write more in my trusty ol' hard copy journal, instead of online here.
Though typing seems much easier and the text can be easily edited, the other side of the coin is that it is eerily so digitised that you don't really know if it'll always be there once you publish it with the click of a button. To read my blog, I have to turn on my computer and get online. Assuming that the Internet will never crash or suffer a major crippling technical failure, my online diary will be pretty much safe and kept alive, maybe even generations after I've gone. But this assumption is in itself a faulty one. How do you know that the World Wide Web has been, is and will always be? I, for one, will not bet my entire record of memories and reflections on a system that fallible human beings like myself (or more ingenius than myself) created.
And, I've had enough of the pain of losing entire posts when, in the process of publishing them, the Internet connection is suddenly disrupted.
Ok, the move is perhaps not based mainly on the above-mentioned uncertainty, but more because of the privacy good old fashioned pen and paper, leather-bound journals afford. Like it or not, there will always be times when you feel so downright -insert intense, extreme emotion(s) here- that whatever you need to write to purge them would be very much damaging or stumbling to whoever reads them unsuspectingly. I myself struggle with that. For me, cathartic releases come through worshipping God, praying, music and writing. Without the last response, I find myself inevitably susceptible to spontaneous combustion in every sense of the word.
I've always been struck by how honest David was with God, his struggles and doubts all very evident through the pages of psalms he wrote. Not only was he completely transparent with God, he communicated to God so honestly his doubts, fears, times of depression and faltering spirit. Usually, when we feel far away from God, doubtful or guilty, we tend to avoid God in a way because of a fear that He will reject us, or in dread of the shame when we actually come to face God. It's easier to live in denial or avoidance than facing the issue directly in God's presence. But David was different. His complete honesty speaks of such an intimate relationship with God in which David trusted Him with all of his heart and was comfortable enough with his Lord and Friend to share his deepest struggles.
That is what I call true intimacy in a walk with God.
This is an attitude of the heart that I want to emulate, to slowly open up all the nooks and crannies of my soul to God. Of course, He obviously knows my darkest thoughts and feelings, but that doesn't negate the fact that He still desires for me to come to Him and tell Him about it. It is an act of ultimate trust, and through this, I will grow even closer to Him. Contrary to belief, it's actually ok to admit our doubts and fears to God. They're not something we have to work through or overcome on our own before we can come into God's presence. Like I said in my previous post, it's all about being honest about it instead of trying to pretend that everything's alright. Although God can see past our façades, it takes a conscious step of faith to come before Him, to confess the burdens of our hearts. You have to trust a friend enough to divulge your deepest, darkest secrets right?
Nakedness is uncomfortable because it exposes us completely. Nobody likes to lose control of what they reveal and what they don't. But trust and faith is built when there is nothing left to hide. And that itself is not an imperative; it is a choice we make.
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Tuesday, July 04, 2006
-8:49 pm
All it took was that humble surrender, on my knees with tears flowing. I never realised that the process of redemptive restoration would only begin
after I surrendered it all to Him in a posture of complete submission, not as a result of struggling to break away on my own strength.
For so long I wrestled with myself, flesh against spirit, spirit against flesh, until it dawned on me that
when I fix my eyes on Him, everything else become shadows in the light of His glory. When I opened my stubborn, tightly clenched fist and released those empty desires to Him, that was when He started to do the deep down work that would set me free. I want to be so taken by His love, that nothing else can distract me from the one pursuit that has become my life.
I don't have to first struggle with it myself before I can say that I have overcomed. I surrender and allow God to help me overcome,
for willpower is nothing compared to the love of God;
only He can satisfy.
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