lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Sunday, February 27, 2005
-8:25 pm
I'm fresh out of the shower, sitting in front of the comp (obviously) downloading photos taken with my dad's side of the family on CNY. Yes I realise it's kinda late but I've been so busy with PI and everything was just left to be KIVed. And now I'm left with a horrendous sleep deficit. Speaking of PI, I'm just so relieved it's over. At the same time, though I lamented the long and tiring preparation process, the magic of PI really came back, especially when we ran out to present our dance AS A BATCH (like finally- full attendance for once). And I was truly touched when my mom actually made it down. She said she couldn't leave office for this, but while I was sitting there on the amphitheatre stage, seeing her discreetly taking a seat at the back (she rushed there), I didn't realise how happy I would feel and how much for her presence meant to me. And our guest-of-honour, Ms. Emma Yong (yes, the really pretty, fabulously talented and widely acclaimed actress) was sooo inspiring. I never knew she was an RG prefect. Anyways, her speech was totally enthralling. Her conclusion, a quote from Nelson Mandela, moved me to tears. Right then on that very stage, I just felt God's hand upon my shoulders and I understood why He has placed me where I am. You've got to read it to know:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that
other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."
-- Nelson Mandela, 1994 Inaugural Speech
And I say, Amen to that.
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Thursday, February 24, 2005
-7:36 pm
I haven't blogged for some time because the past week has been soooo hectic. Well, I'm finding time now to put in a few words about how I managed to survive PI week and this week (: Firstly, I realised that sleep early at abt 9pm and waking up at 4am to do homework works fabulously for me. Last week was terrible... I got home at 7-8pm everyday (thanks to PI prep). I had stuff after sch every day this week too and I'm usually very drained by the time I get home. So I decided to try eating dinner straight away when I get home, take a bath, having TAWG, then going staight to bed. And it works! I can work with a clear and rested mind in the morning (especially since it's quiet and cool). The only downside to this is that I find it so hard to wake up because my bed suddenly becomes so alluringly comfortable and cosy. Sigh. But a good amount of self-discipline took care of that (: And I learnt that putting God first i.e. having TAWG when I'm especially tired and stressed out is really the ultimate solution to relieving stress and getting closer to God. I just pour out all my troubles to Him and after that, I feel so much better. Worship really lifts my spirits. I can just feel God's tangible presence so strongly and when my worries melt away. Hannah's right; having TAWG right when you get home or before you start on any homework is really effective.
Ok I really got to get going now. Tons of RS, CCA and homework to do. I've been procrastinating RS for ages...
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Sunday, February 13, 2005
-11:09 pm
The past few days have been great. I had the most fun this CNY somehow though the "qi fen" wasn't quite there. The food was one thing that really made cny THE festival of the year. Maybe it was also cos my house is now FINALLY clean, nice and tidy so people, including relatives and some neighbours'/ dad's clients I've never met before, have been coming over for dinner and stuff. And it's fun to play host, except for the fact that tonight after my dad's side of the family has left, I need to rush my homework. Ok ok, I know I shouldn't be here blogging but oh wells.
Saturday was supposedly the "True Love Waits" service but they didn't really call it that. Anyhow, I thought that the sermon was great and a pleasant change from the usual v-day services. I really learnt about what true love is all about. Really, the Bible's definition of true love has been long forgotten and replaced by the overly-dramatic, sensualised and overrated Hollywood version. It's time to throw all that out the window cos true love is really more than just having a crush on that person and whatever else TV shows/ movies portray. It's more than just the emotions. Just go read 1 Corinthians 13. There's a lot more informative and useful stuff about true love than you'll ever find in any one of those self-help books/ websites written by those self-professed "love gurus". Sometimes, the answer to our questions lie just right under our noses. We search everywhere but up, to God and His word. Well, I say it's time love took on a different meaning; one that entails commitment and preparation, not just passion and lust.
If we could just love each other with the love that God loves us with, there wouldn't be wars and political conflicts everywhere. True love, that is love from God, never fails. And we were made to love others with that love.
True lovePerseveresProtects and
Prepares you to be the best person you can be
.... and
God's love never fails.Happy Valentine's Day! ;)
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Wednesday, February 09, 2005
-12:27 am
Today was not a good new year's eve for me.
The day started out with the sch celebration and after that, dance prac for PI. Then I went out for lunch with my ex-cell members and Alicia. That's when the trouble started. Got scolded on the phone by my mom cos it was "late" and I wasn't home at 2pm which I was still at Taka's KFC, then was scolded some more when I got home. "Do you know what day it is today? You're supposed to come home straight from school! You're getting worse and worse... blah blah blah..." I'm sure you get the idea.
It's not that I wasn't at fault at all. Yes, I did forget to tell them where I was, but at least I did say I'll finish in sch at 1.30pm. I felt that the treatment I got was inproportionate to what I did. It was just going out to KFC for a quick bite with my friends. I really think my mother is sooo unreasonable. She doesn't like me to go out and expects me to always come home and stay home all day. I need a social life. Most young people my age have one. Not that I want to compare (my mom hates it when I do that), but they go out quite often every week and can go home late on saturdays, and the thing is that their parents are ok with it. For me, my mother kicks up a fuss every time I mention the words "going out". I just don't understand. It's not like I'm asking for a lot. All I want is a little freedom. I'm already 16 in case you haven't noticed. The thing is, I just can't get the point across to her that I need a little freedom to go out and have fun with my friends. She even makes a mountain out of a mole hill when I come home late from cell. Presently, my curfew is to be home by 10.15pm. But cell usually ends at 9.30. By the time the SPs finish their de-brief, it's 9.45 and there's no time to go to macs for some fellowship. I'm always the one who has to go straight home. Sigh. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's very frustrating.
This is a chronic problem that plagues many youths I believe. It's very hard to get parents to see things from our perspective. Yes, it's true that they have been teenagers before, but times are different; change is the only constant in this world. They can't expect that we live under the same rules they did. I understand that they're just worried about me and I understand where they're coming from. But a girl really needs to have her freedom (or at least just a fraction of it). Anyways, it's getting quite late and I'm off to TAWG then to bed. My relatives are coming over tomorrow morning so I need to get up early. Good night and Blessed Chinese New Year!
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Sunday, February 06, 2005
-11:45 am
I've finally got my ears pierced! Haha it took forever to persuade my mom to let me. Thankfully Dad gave me the go-ahead so mom couldn't really object. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt that much. The earrings just got punched in (I just felt a little pinch) and then it was done in a matter of seconds. But one hole is a little off-center though. And I wished I could have chosen the light blue imitation diamond earring, except that I could only wear the white one to school. Oh well, guess I'll have to wait 6 weeks before I can change my earrings.
Anyways, I've just received some weird web SMS from a person I don't know. And the content of the SMS isn't very pleasant at all. It's almost... slanderous I'd say. Wonder who that person is, and how that person came to know of something. If it was meant to intimidate, I don't think it came from someone at church. Maybe it's someone from school. But still, no one I know would be so condescendingly mean to send me such a message. Unless it's meant to be a joke or to tease me. Oh well, think I must do something about it. Meanwhile, I shall try not to be disturbed by it. I just hope that it wasn't ill-intentioned.
NOTICE: Have you ever wondered what life was all about, or bemoaned how meaningless life is? Or do you feel that you've reached the edge of your life and don't know what to do? If you're that person, take note of the following details.
-EDGE-
Youth drama by Passion! Ministry
20th Feb, 4pm and 7pm
@ Trinity Christian Centre, 21 Adam Road
Come for this special event and you'll find out the truth behind life and the answers to all the questions you've been searching for. If you're interested, leave a note on my tagboard. Hope to see you there!
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Wednesday, February 02, 2005
-10:35 pm
Ok I'm not supposed to be up at this hour because my sleep deficit has been accumulating to almost lethal levels. But I still gotta get something off my system so here it goes...
Some things in this world, in school are really overrated i.e. held too high in importance/ treated too seriously though it really isn't. I won't go into details but today hasn't been a very pleasant day for me. Everyone's tired and swamped with work. Now that PI's just two weeks away and our batch item's not worked out, it's just added pressure on a lot of people. I know it's our last PI and as sec 4s, we want this to be special. But I feel that maybe we're just taking this too seriously that we're not enjoying the essence of it. What's the point then? Yes, our objective may be to impress the school and guests, but in the end, if we don't enjoy the whole process and bond as a batch, then it's really quite sad. I know the end results will be rewarding, and it'll be worth it. But we've got to lighten up and stop behaving as though if we don't get the dance right, the world is going to end. Forgive me for being so brutally honest and probably offensive but this is really how I feel. This is my blog so I'm just going to write my mind. I must admit that I pushed for the orientation dance cos it's cool, well-rehearsed and less time-consuming to perfect. But if you guys want a dance to be special only for PI, then that's also reasonable. In this case, we might have to compromise the standard of our performance. Mastering the slick dance moves that moni, lwin and effendy came up with is not easy (especially for a stiff-as-wood "dancer" like me). But I guess I must have faith that we'll make it. Like Sruthi said, it dosen't matter if it's perfect, as long as we try out best.
So let's all try our best to make it work. I do hope we don't end up looking like clowns (ok I've got to stop being a wet blanket pessismist). True, I don't want other schools to being going, "Goodness, that was such a crappy dance." But I want to be able to enjoy it for once. To feel the fianzan spirit in doing this together. Let's not disappoint each other. I'm sure we'll be able to make it if everyone just does their best and maybe put in a lil bit more elbow grease. Positive confession: PI 2005's gonna rock the house!
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