lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
-12:27 am
Today was not a good new year's eve for me.
The day started out with the sch celebration and after that, dance prac for PI. Then I went out for lunch with my ex-cell members and Alicia. That's when the trouble started. Got scolded on the phone by my mom cos it was "late" and I wasn't home at 2pm which I was still at Taka's KFC, then was scolded some more when I got home. "Do you know what day it is today? You're supposed to come home straight from school! You're getting worse and worse... blah blah blah..." I'm sure you get the idea.
It's not that I wasn't at fault at all. Yes, I did forget to tell them where I was, but at least I did say I'll finish in sch at 1.30pm. I felt that the treatment I got was inproportionate to what I did. It was just going out to KFC for a quick bite with my friends. I really think my mother is sooo unreasonable. She doesn't like me to go out and expects me to always come home and stay home all day. I need a social life. Most young people my age have one. Not that I want to compare (my mom hates it when I do that), but they go out quite often every week and can go home late on saturdays, and the thing is that their parents are ok with it. For me, my mother kicks up a fuss every time I mention the words "going out". I just don't understand. It's not like I'm asking for a lot. All I want is a little freedom. I'm already 16 in case you haven't noticed. The thing is, I just can't get the point across to her that I need a little freedom to go out and have fun with my friends. She even makes a mountain out of a mole hill when I come home late from cell. Presently, my curfew is to be home by 10.15pm. But cell usually ends at 9.30. By the time the SPs finish their de-brief, it's 9.45 and there's no time to go to macs for some fellowship. I'm always the one who has to go straight home. Sigh. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's very frustrating.
This is a chronic problem that plagues many youths I believe. It's very hard to get parents to see things from our perspective. Yes, it's true that they have been teenagers before, but times are different; change is the only constant in this world. They can't expect that we live under the same rules they did. I understand that they're just worried about me and I understand where they're coming from. But a girl really needs to have her freedom (or at least just a fraction of it). Anyways, it's getting quite late and I'm off to TAWG then to bed. My relatives are coming over tomorrow morning so I need to get up early. Good night and Blessed Chinese New Year!
1comments
1 Comments
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at 10:49 am
Viz said...
Ya, i could understand how you feel for i had my curfew that took years to subside (18-21). even now when i'm out late, my mum nags about it. she still ask who am i going out with (at my age of 27!). and it has no evidence the naggings are getting lesser. nowadays, her fav topic are my work, and why am i not attached. So you see, different age, attracts different nags. That is your constant change.
However, i guess its age (mine), i'm able to understand the intentions better (compared to teenage years), not only just mere understanding them, but appreciate it from her shoes and not mine.
if not for her nagging, scolding (which i still most dislike lar); i could have joined the gangs, wasting my life in pubs, fighting in the streets. i've learnt to separate things. the actions and her love. scolding, nagging are just ACTIONS/TOOLS that she would express her LOVE.
My mum is not highly educated, she was not brought up in an environment (and era) that they could express love through hugs and kisses and gifts (which we took for granted). the ways she knew/learnt to love us (her children) were to “provide” and “protect” us; The forms "provide" took can be in education, shelter, food and so on. The forms "protect" took can be scolding, caning, nagging.
If we fail to see where our parents come from, and that all those we received were only because of their love, we fail to love them for that too. Ask ourselves, if we were brought up the way our parents were brought up, aren’t we gonna think the same way too?
Basically, i think your mum loves you so much and still wants to continue to protect you from the potential harm and temptations that you could contract when out in the night. The fact that you are a gal could be why she is more concern. (i'm not sexist har!), my sis still got her curfew after 21 year old!
Truly, as i now reflect, teenage is an age which we can be very impressionable. i did a lot of things in my teenage ages which now i'm not proud of, looks stupid to to me now, but my "teenage wisdom" then was filled with ego.
yes. time changes; but teenagers are still the same, always asking for freedom.
times changes; mothers are all the same, love their children and would trade their lives anytime for children.
time changes; but children can NEVER appreciate their parents till they have their own.
i must say that the quote "the only constant is change" was quoted in the wrong context here. You are talking about love, and that Is The constant, no matter how it may change. What will change is only the topic that they nag about.
Comparison is envy. envy do not. What you see "freedom" in others is not the entire "story" of that person's life. You just couldn't be comparing like a shopper, only taking what is good from the shelf.
Count your blessings no matter how DIFFERENT it may seem for you. What you should do is earn your way out. TRUST is what lacking here. Instead of thinking how to "break free" and "challenge" the rules, why not EARN them?
Knows the intention of why your mum is concern about you going out late, then assure her through ACTIONS (not just "Ok ok, i know"). Inform her your whereabouts, come home on time, who are you out with and other restrictions, and blah blah..
Its not going to be easy, but how little can be done to earn trust right? In this way, not only you will eventually get to do what you want to do, you will also know that your mum has learnt to trust you (and probably support you too).
I'm not saying what your mum did was the "right way".. i can't judge that, non there is anything you could do to change that.
All I’m offering here is that you could see it from a different light. Most of the time in life, you can't change what happens to you, but you can change how you feel about it, remember?
Chill.
