lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Monday, March 14, 2005
-10:11 pm
I'm troubled. There's just so much to think about. I'm confused about a certain area of my life that I feel I need to surrender to God. After the sermon about alignment for the future, I've been thinking of whether I should let things go so that God have work His power in my life. Things can definitely wait till I'm at least more spiritually ready/ stable. I don't want anything to affect my relationship with God, not even the tinniest distraction. But the innate human desire is always hard to resist. My will vs. that of God's is definitely not a good idea. So since I feel that I'm in conflict with God's will, I shall just follow the spirit's leading and surrender myself completely to Him all over again. It's gonna be hard letting go, but like what A. Dowdy said, alignment is always deliberate, and it involves sacrifice. I guess I need to believe that God has something better in stall for me, and through this, I'm actually stepping into my destiny and allowing God to prepare me for it. Romans 8:28- in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. At least I know I'm not the only one facing this. A friend of mine shared the same problem too. It's always difficult to truly grasp God's purpose for us, and when things happen, we question His reasons. But we need to acknowledge His sovereignty in our lives. Like what my friend said, it's really strange that each time we go to the altars, we declare God's reign in our lives and pledge to surrender our lives into His hands. But when God really takes complete control i.e. disallows certain opportunities etc, we turn around in disappointment/ anger and demand an answer. I usually just accept things the way they are, knowing that God has a great plan and it involves me. Like the lyrics to running after you, even though sometimes His ways we cannot understand, we'll never walk away because our futures are in His hands.
Another thing that has spoiled my holiday mood and annoyed me to no end is my dad's bad mood. He just insists that I wasn't telling the truth behind why I forgot to sms him my whereabouts yesterday. I truly had no bad reason for forgetting but he insists that I do. Sigh. If he wants to pick on me and believe something else, I really have nothing to say. Looking at him sometimes, I just wonder why he cannot see things the way I do. I don't know whether the problem is with me or him. He is just so unreasonable and.... urgh! Ok, I need to calm down. I'm just asking God to give me the grace to face this, and the self-control to not sin even when I'm at boiling point, no matter how unfair the circumstances are.
With chinese/ math homework + RS report to rush before I leave on wednesday, I really got to get going. I'm in the middle of packing for the bio trip to Tioman and my floor's strewn with all my stuff. And I'm supposed to sleep early because there's in briefing in sch tmr. Oh wells. It's hard to enjoy the hols but I've gotta try. Can't wait to finish packing and go off for TAWG. I'm so determined to have TAWG every day even when I'm in Tioman. God's really my one and only lifeline in this insanely depraved world. Really.
0comments