lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Thursday, July 21, 2005
-9:54 pm
It's really a humbling experience to see guys cry.
I don't know why I'm thinking about this, but it just struck me last night while I was on the phone with a friend. I voiced my view and apparently she felt the same way. I guess being used to seeing the guys around us all strong and brave contrasted with the sight of them in their weakest moment. The phrase "sobbing uncontrollably" is just not synonomous with the image of males. It doesn't matter whether one personally knows the guy or not, it's all the same. I bet the sight of a guy with his head hung low and tears streaming down his face would melt the coldest heart of any girl out there. Trust me.
Not that I'm advocating gender stereotypes here, but this is merely a random observation I've made. I don't mean to be antagonistic. And guys, this wasn't in any way a negative sentiment meant to offend; I'm just bringing out the softer side of males, don't you agree?
Random thought no. 2:
I wish I could get some modicum of respect and space from a certain person. This friendship is really draining me, especially emotionally. I know I shouldn't be so selfish but I'm at my wit's end. To stay would be disasterous and counter-effective; it would leave us worse off than when we started. I don't know what you want from me, or what I can do to get out of this prison but I'm so stifled by your whims and fancies, having to check for your response and make sure you aren't hurt before I do anything at all. It's like having to get approval from you for every single decision and action.
It's frustrating. I feel
t r a p p e d.
If I don't, you might just kick up a big fuss. Pacifying you isn't easy at all (it's like trying to sooth a collicky baby with only chilli as the available resource) and I wish I could stop lying to you. There are times when I'm far from being alright with you although that's what I tell you. For all you know, I might not be such a nice person after all. It's a facade meant to stop you from self-destruction but it's hurting me. I can't be myself for fear of how you would respond; it's like a ticking time-bomb ready to explode, except that no one knows how much time there is left.
Give me a break. Or else I'll break.
"Sanity is a valuable possession; I hoard it the way people once hoarded money. I save it, so I will have enough, when the time comes."
-Offred, The Handmaid's Tale
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