lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
-6:36 pm
I really hate myself for some of the things I do at times.
Whenever I try to tactful, I just unconsciously end up hurting others even more. I've messed up many more times than I've successfully resolved matters.
Maybe I should just stop trying. Just do what I want. Not care anymore because it just doesn't pay to be kind (or at least when I to be considerate). Everything is just wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong, helplessly wrong. I'm annoyed, confused, hurt, angry, sad, apologetic. I just feel like screaming right now. Yelling all my frustration out of the window.
I wish I could turn back time.
It's so hard to stay sane. Caught in the middle. Pulled in two opposite directions. You probably think I'm not being fair to you, that it's really worse for you. Well, perhaps. I'm just a lousy friend, a selfish ignorant fool who can't do anything right. I'm really not worth your time, not worth your friendship, not worthy of giving you advice anymore.
I'm ashamed of myself.
Am I that hopeless? That I can't even manage a simple friendship? God please tell me what I should do. Perhaps it's better if we just don't talk to each other anymore. I started out trying to help him/her. But I've hurt him/her more than any other person he/she knows, I think. If he/she is better off without me, so be it. Yea, maybe that's the way things should be.
So long, goodbye.
3comments
3 Comments
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at 4:53 am
blah said...
Some people are just really easily offended or just look past the good that one is trying to do for them. We can't all save everyone, and once we realize that, it may be best to let the rest be left up to them or someone other than us to try. No need to beat yourself up over it. I've been in the same situation, and yes I felt as horrible as you. Though, like I said, we can't save everyone, but even so, we can still pray for their problems to be solved without us.
I hope your depressed state will turn into acceptance of the situation. We are only hurting ourselves by letting it plague our hearts if we don't.
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at 1:19 pm
Mich. said...
Agreed. Well, I wrote that post in a fit of exasperation. It didn't help that I'd just had this online confrontation with that person then. But I'll be fine. I don't usually let these kind of things get me down for long. It's just not worth it.
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at 8:47 am
JOANE ADELPHIE ; said...
youknowwho:
hey michelle i really sorrie if i did say anything wrong abt it.. i just wanted to be more honest to you but ended up.. haiz.. this teach me a lesson not to tell the truth to anyone already.. yea.. i will noe what to do .. you tc care don't let this affect u otherwise i were so gulity .. !! :)