lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Sunday, September 11, 2005
-6:20 pm
No. I refuse to engage in verbal sparring with you.
You can say whatever you want to insult me but I will not return fire. It's natural that you hate me and I don't blame you for that. But you don't understand a lot of things. It's just a pity that the friendship couldn't last.
You might think you know everything about me since I chose to confide in you for a period of time, but you don't. You can't see through the deepest part of me. For all you know, my life may not be all that perfect. You don't know a lot about me actually, what you see and hear is just the tip of the iceberg. After all, I choose what I want to reveal, and what not to. There are invisible blemishes which are unknown to you, flaws which only I know, and perhaps the people who are closest to me. Maybe you're making too many assumptions, unqualified generalisations which are risky because the truth can be far from it. Ever heard the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover"? I'm sure you have.
Everyone has a dark story to tell. Do you want to hear mine? To quote a friend, perhaps the question is should I ever tell it. You might not be able to handle what you don't know. Things may seem oh so wonderful and smooth-going for me all the time, and I look as though I'm always on top of things.
But am I?
Does such a perfect life even exist? You should know the answer to that. Stop being so hard on yourself. No one's perfect. Only God and Christ are. Do you even dare to call someone perfect? To put a mere human being on the same pedestal as God? I hope you know what you're talking about when you call someone perfect. Perfection is implausible with regards to mankind. You're a smart person, you should know that. To label someone as perfect would reflect an attempt to mask your own insecurities, because then you would feel that it's ok to hate that person.
I know what you've been saying about me, and how you feel. It hurts, to be honest. It's unfair. But you know what, despite all that, I love you still. You're human after all, with feelings which are easily bruised. You're still my friend, even though I'm might not be yours. I can't help the way things are, I wish I could though. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes, listening to your problems, but yet knowing that I'm the cause of all that.
I've accepted the fact that I can't do anymore to help, nor can I change the circumstances. I can only pray that in time, God will help you understand and you will allow Him to heal the hurt within you. I hope, although I know I might be disappointed, that when the bitterness is gone, we can go back to being friends. If that's the last thing on your mind, I don't blame you. If you don't want to even see me, I'll willingly stay away with no complaints. All I ask is that you give yourself the permission and time to get over it, and know that no matter what, you're God's precious child, fearfully and wonderfully made, the most beautiful and special daughter in His sight.
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