lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Monday, October 10, 2005
-2:13 pm
Recently, a friend told me that I am too judgemental. I guess this isn't the first time I've heard it and though I'm not surprised, I must say that it still kind of hurt. To this, I would admit that there is some truth in the above charge.
I have a problem: I appear to be self-righteous most of the time, and say things which somehow come out the wrong way, hence what people interpret isn't what I actually meant to say. Like most of my friends would know, I'm a straightforward, opinionated person who would readily voice my views. Sometimes, if I think you're being silly by crying over failing your bio test, I'll tell you in the face. It's just that I don't understand the need for some people to cry it out; they're just naturally more emotional beings than I am.
Perhaps it's the way I put it across; tone of voice, language, non-verbal cues and all. Perhaps I express my opinions in such a way that they come across as being the absolute truth or standard for everyone. I reckon I have this annoying tendency to strive for "political correctness", though the more irrational and delirious side of me reacts otherwise. How strangely conflicting.
I don't know if this is the impression most people have of me, though I think it's likely because my image as a strict prefect (or a lean mean booking machine as my detractors call me) doesn't help at all. I think I've inherited my father's brash, headstrong and outspoken gene. Somehow, I seem to have inherited all my father's bad genes, including the bad temper.
Like my temper, I've learnt to hold my tongue and think before I speak so I'm a lot better than in the past where people really suffered the wrath of my stinging words, although sometimes I didn't mean it. It's just that I forget every now and then. Even my mother constantly lectures me about the importance of EQ, and dilligently reminds me of my lack of it. Am I that bad? If you happen to be reading this and have something to say, please comment below.
Not that I'm afraid of what people think of me. I welcome constructive criticism; it's the only way to improve oneself and mature. After all, the truth hurts and I've learnt to accept that. I do feel that I need to soften my image, to stop making judgements in my head about other people though I recognise that to me, it's an instinct, almost like I was born with it, a natural reaction to other people. I'd think, "This isn't the way to solve the problem, she should..." or "Can't she see that she's heading for self-destruction?"
I accept that I myself have faults, faults which I can't see but others can. That's why I rely on my friends to give me feedback, to tell me about the negative characteristics which I should work on.
It's really hard to change because I have a very judgemental nature. But impossible is nothing for God. I think the only way to overcome this is to pray, to ask God for the sensitivity and tact I lack, to nurture my EQ (yes, EQ can be acquired), and to see others through God's eyes. I should consider the impact of my words on people and put myself in their shoes to understand how they would feel.
But then again, when I express my views, it doesn't mean that I think it's the absolute standard of truth. It's just my opinion; I'm not making a moral judgement or anything. After all, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
Like we learnt in the module about ethnocentrism, relativism really helps with correcting biases and prejudices. I should practice relativism more often, which teaches us to acknowledge that there is no one absolute, right way of doing things and that everyone's opinion is valid, although varied.
So, to my friends who may be reading this, I have one favour to ask of you. Please do not hesitate to chastise me when my judgemental nature acts up again. If need be, remind me that if God was so judgemental on all of us sinners, we wouldn't be here today.
0comments