lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Thursday, November 24, 2005
-1:44 pm
I was posed a question, from a recent post on someone's blog, and it has given me food for thought. His post was about young people making out in public (i.e. "kissing, fondling and monkeying in that scandalous sense in public areas"). I responded to his post with this comment (I've since edited it here and added more substantial points):
"This kind of behaviour, to me, cannot be condoned. Teens our age are always making out all over the place, in the bus, on the MRT trains, in parks etc. It's disgusting. I really can't stand it, especially when I'm out with my younger brothers. Most of the time, they don't really care who is in the vicinity (like whether there are any younger children around); they just have eyes for each other. I think this is really inconsiderate and irresponsible behaviour.
I mean, I don't think that they should be so touchy-feely with each other at this age, even if they are going steady. For me, I don't believe that serious relationships can start or work out while we're still students. Why the rush? We should focus on our studies right now, develop as a person, realise our potential and make the best of our youth. We'll have plenty of time when we're older, more mature, having discovered who we are as a person and are ready for commitment.
I do think that making out in public is definitely inappropriate. It is not a moral judgement, but rather, more an issue of defending the rights of the people around us. Yes, our peers in question may argue that it's their business and we shouldn't be busybodies, that they have the right to do whatever they want and it's not harming anybody, but the public also has the right to be spared inappropriate displays of affection (to put it lightly).
Have they considered how others would feel seeing them make out like that in public? It's a sight hard to avoid, especially if you are in a crowded MRT train and they are right in front of you.
I believe in a girl's basic modesty. She should protect her dignity and not allow her boyfriend (or just any guy) to take liberties with her. The girl is at fault as much as the boy is. Yes, the guy may be the one initiating the physical contact but the girl could have put a stop to it. Even if I'm in a relationship, I won't go beyond holding hands and a peck on the cheek. It might sound so old-school but I believe it protects the relationship from degenerating to physical attraction or lust.
Loving someone isn't just about liking how they look; more importantly it is about the person's character and inner beauty. A relationship based solely on physical attraction will never last. It isn't real love; it's lust. We shouldn't let lust cloud our senses and blind us to what the person is like deep down inside. Let's face it- I guess desires are quite natural, thanks to hormones and the automatic nervous system in males, but we must constantly fight the urge to follow our emotions or go with the flow. Peer pressure and mass media can be a strong influence but we need to stand upon God's word and learn to say no to temptations.
Anyways, God made man and woman for each other, and the sexual pleasures are only meant to be enjoyed after marriage. God blessed us with the ability to feel and the physical mechanisms for intimate relationships but it is not meant to be frivolously used with just anyone.
If you truly love someone, you'll want to keep yourself pure for that person. It's my way of being sincere and honouring my future spouse as well. The same goes for guys too. If the other person is truly meant for you, he/she will wait. Since both of you know that sex is not what your love is built upon and is not essential in the courting stage, you will be willing to wait for each other. It takes faith, patience and perseverance for a relationship to withstand the test of time and temptations, after which it will emerge assuredly as true love.
I know that majority of the people in our generation do not think like me and might scoff at all that I've said here. But God has called us to be a holy and blameless people for Him in a crooked and depraved generation, in which we will shine like stars in the universe. [Philippians 2:14-16] I don't care what people think or say, I will stand up for what I believe in and do what's right, to live by my principles and not conform to the pattern of this world.
All I have to say about people who make out in public is that they are not mature enough to fully comprehend the implications and consequences of their actions. Ironically, most people think that once they're sexually active or at least have some experience with the opposite sex, they're matured. But true maturity and wisdom comes from understanding what love is all about and striving to maintain the purity of a relationship."
Most don't make a big deal out of frenching and making out, but I ask, why do you engage in that sort of behaviour if you're a confident person who is sure of yourself? I think girls who let their boyfriends do all sorts of things with them are insecure. Contrary to belief, they do not exude confidence. Instead, I think that they are too meek to stand up for themselves. They're afraid of losing their boyfriends, thinking that saying no would put them off. But if he's a guy and a respectable gentleman, he will want to honour you and keep his hands off.
I was just surfing online quizzes yesterday out of utter boredom when I came across one titled something like "how hot are you? (for girls only)". Out of curiosity, I clicked on it and there were questions like how do you kiss- one of the options was "with a lot of tongue"- and what you would do if a guy flirts with you. I was quite amused because these are not gauges of how "hot" a person is, if you choose to define it as the attractiveness quotient.
To me, the most attractive quality of a guy is that he is on fire for God. That is my number one criteria. I don't care how he kisses, or whether he has great abs. Physical appearances are given was too much importance when people talk about the criteria for a boyfriend/ girlfriend. For a girl, having an independent spirit, daring to speak up and stand up for what you believe in is what makes one "hot". You don't have to give in to whatever your guy may want. There is this thing called The Freedom of Choice, in case you didn't know. Don't tell me that you don't have a choice because you sure have a voice and legs to help you walk/ run away when things start to get out of hand. Ok I know I'm digressing a little so I'll steer this post back to the question it started with.
Why do people make out in public? I can only think of a few answers, some of which do not make sense to me:
- To show how in love they are
(like a physical declaration to the world)
- Because it's cool (is it really?)
- Because all their friends are doing it with their steads
(must you be a sheep? baa baa...)
- To show that they are mature (haha...)
Well, it might sound like I'm poking fun at these couples who are *ahem* overly expressive of their affections (if you want to put it in a nice way), but I really think that they need to wake up. Even if they don't want to right the wrongs before it's too late for their own sakes, they should at least think about the poor, long-suffering public (including my friend and I) who are constantly assaulted by these rude sights.
I've said my piece. Do comment, even if you disagree with me big time, especially if you're one of those people who like making out in public- you're welcome to argue your case. (: You might think I sound so holier than thou but hey, it's only my opinion. Although you may criticise my point of view, you may not use profanities (though I know you probably have a whole vocabulary bankful of them), hurl abuse or embark on personal attacks. Thank you and have a nice day. (:
I do hope that our society will not only talk about becoming a more gracious and cultured first-world global city, but actually take action to change mindsets and adopt more civilised attitudes. Perhaps when our youth of today start to change themselves for the better (myself included), Singapore will have a hope for the future. Ok I'm starting to sound like an old grandma/ the MOE so I shall stop now.
Let's go on a Anti-(Outrageous)Making-Out-In-Public campaign!
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