lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Sunday, November 27, 2005
-11:39 pm
It's amazing how mere words can hurt a person.
Careless insinuations, caught by the biting wind.
Damage meter- comparable with Hurricane Katrina.
Oh, you'd better watch out too.
Perhaps I said the wrong things at the wrong time.
But did it really warrant such a response?
Well, I shouldn't be surprised, but there is a limit to
the buffer which keeps me from breaking into pieces
by fending off the lethal, poisoned arrows.
What shouldn't have been said was said,
taken as anything except what it truly meant.
Tone of voice, body language, they do tell a lot, don't they?
But, he's as unpredictable as the weather. Well, maybe not the weather
because the meteorological centre can forecast whether it would rain within the next 5 hours.
But with him, you can never tell when the skies would break loose with a raging storm, or if
beneath the quiet, still waters of Guilin, there is a vertical drop to the watery graveyard down below.
The damage is unprecedented too.
I'm sitting here typing in my dark room, worsening my myopia/astigmatism because the bright computer screen almost gives me a headache.
I've turned off the lights. I don't want to see things too clearly.
For now, at least.
Too much light and clarity might be painfully blinding, or bring back unwanted memories of what and when.
I've had enough, almost.
But I've developed a capacity for hurts. That might be a boon and/or bane.
Sometimes, it scares me to think of what might still be hidden in the depths of my heart.
After letting the tears flow their course, I turn the tap off and declare the area off-limits.
To whom, I have no idea.
Forgive and forget.
That's not quite feasible. Perhaps, to forgive. But both?
One doesn't need to forget in order to forgive. Neither does one necessarily have to forget after forgiving.
We have to remember life's lessons, don't we? Or else, we might just make the same mistakes twice.
Can I find it in my heart to forgive?
I hope so.
I need to,
but I know, I will not readily though.
Yet, this soft voice inside me whispers:
He's not ready
He's not on his knees yet
He's too strong to be weak
Show him mercy
He's not his knees yet
Let him break please
Make him better
Put the pieces back together...
I know I need to see him and everything that has happened through God's eyes.
My human, stubborn, prideful ways and myopic perspective will always complicate things.
Or, make them a bigger deal than they really are.
And so, I will get down on my knees and pray,
for him, myself and everything in between.
Lord, I need You to help makes things better.
Stop the hurt, the anger, the tears.
Stop the bitterness, the hate, the unforgiveness.
Release Your grace that covers all sin,
and forgives all our iniquities,
Your love that heals the hurt,
restores, renews and releases.
The knowledge of Your love for me
Is the truth that sets me free
Kisses from Heaven,
From Father God to me.
And so, I've returned to the roots of my blog's namesake.
It's ironic, what it took to make me realise what it really meant.
It's Hershey's Heaven's precious Kisses that are keeping me from turning into a cynic, a world-hating, apathetic atheist.
And so, I shall cling on to Him, for He knows the path I walk and where my feet thread-
He is right here beside me; He is all my comfort.
Lord, as imperfect as we both are,
I know Your saving grace will wipe our slates clean,
wash us whiter than the snow.
Father, forgive me. Forgive him.
He doesn't know his worth
Wears the saddest smile on earth
But he denies it
Love is reaching out to him
But he won't let it in
He defies it
He defies it
He's not ready
He's not on his knees yet
He's too strong to be weak
Show him mercy
He's not on his knees yet
Let him break him please
Make him better
Put the pieces back together
He thinks that he's alone
I have walked the road he's on
And I know he's searching
Looking everywhere but up
He can't fill his empty cup
So he keeps hurting
He keeps hurting
He's not ready
He's not on his knees yet
He's too strong to be weak
Show him mercy
He's not on his knees yet
Let him break please
Make him better
Put the pieces back together
Help him please
He's not on his knees...
Yet
-He's Not On His Knees Yet by CeCe Winans
I will keep on loving, because He first loved me.
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