lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king
Sunday, February 04, 2007
-10:32 am
Having barely recovered from a dehabilitating flu which knocked me out of action for a few days, I woke up this morning with an upset stomach and diarrhoea. It's food poisoning it seems. Boohoo. I want to be in church!
It's a double-whammy. First this, then that. I feel as weak as jelly. Sigh. I want to sleep, but the churning in my stomach and nausea keeps me away from the temporary respite of lala land. And every now and then, I'd have to scurry to the toilet. I've lost count of the number of times already. Okay I'll spare the details; they're not exactly delectable.
But even as I pleaded with God to take it away so that I could go to church, He asked me, why do you want to go to church so badly? I thought it was quite a "duh" question to ask, but He searched my heart and revealed to me that He was probably a secondary reason. I realised that I wanted to be there because, well, I wanted to see my friends, have fun, party the Sunday away. I was looking forward more to the human fellowship than real fellowship with God. It hit me and I felt really ashamed. It's so easy to lose focus. I think sometimes we can get carried away with all the hype, the cool factor of youth ministry, of hanging out with friends. But church is so much more than a social club.
I'm sure to spend the rest of this morning getting things right again with God.
Create in me a pure heart O Lord.
4comments
4 Comments
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at 8:07 pm
said...
Yoi.
So you weren't at service - I was looking for you, wanting to ask you something. But since you weren't there, I went to find somebody else - maybe I'll ask you on MSN or something.
Well, I guess sometimes we tend to get so comfy in all the "youth-iness" of the LT1 settings and all, that we forget the main purpose of going church. Happens (/ed) to me many times.
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at 12:05 am
blah said...
Ah, those kinds of sicknesses are the worst. That really is a shame that you had to endure and deal with missing out on church. Now that it is Tuesday there, I do hope you have recovered from these dual blows..
To start with a prologue, I have started to become more aware of when I constantly relate other people's issues to myself that might make me come off as self-centered and/or disinterested in said person's current issue...but I will go with this anyway.
I personally have not had a desire to go to church for the sake of "partying the Sunday away" with friends. Though in the past, I have had a desire to go to church because I would feel guilty if I didn't; like it became an obligatory necessity for me. Just as you realized your secondary reason, I came to myself and realized that being a child of the King is not about going to church every Sunday - contrary to the thousands of "religious" people making a conscious effort to live a double-life. Attending church is for the sake of fellowship with other believers, to create accountability systems among them so that together we can stay on the path of righteousness, and to be fed spiritually by those who have been called to preach and teach the Word in a way that we, as sinners, can apply it to our daily lives, seeing as how "we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered" (Romans 8:36). I don't believe you are completely mistaken in your wanting to socialize with your friends, for the Lord has supplied you with wonderful people that you can rejoice, pray, and find comfort in. So feel no shame in that. ^^
I simply wish that I had the circle of believers that you have. Yes, there are those whom I can socialize with, but only maybe one person at most that I can really get down to the nitty-gritty with. And she isn't even from my home church. Sorta depressing, you know? Makes me want to move to SG just for that ^^;
Sorry for all of that XD Me and my novel-long replies...
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at 9:07 pm
said...
I really agree with what you said. Most of the time we go to church is to meet up with friends, complain about the week. God is only in our focus during worship and sometimes not even in the sermon. Let us KEEP OUR FOCUS ON GOD! Have a movers mentality, not a club mentality!
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at 3:16 pm
Mich. said...
Sorry for the late replies. Haven't had the time to manage my blog and stuff recently.
Hey clem, yeah I'm sure many others can identify with this. Hope you're feeling less tired now (:
Alexiel:
Thanks I've recovered now. Was quite surprised that I was a lot better just one day later. God's healing hand always amazes me. Hey I love long replies (maybe because I usually write them myself) so never feel inhibited to respond at length. (:
Yeah a community of believers is something really precious. Hearing from your point of view, I guess I'm pretty blessed with a wonderful bunch of people in church and even school. Well, I believe when we lack real people we can talk to, perhaps it teaches us to depend more on God? He's someone who's always there for us, even when we don't realise it. As much as human company is important, we need to have that intimate friendship with God because it's the basis of everything. (:
Chuyi:
Glad to see you apply what PGary preached? (Or least I think so cos I haven't heard that phrase before) Yep we've got to always keep things in perspective and not get carried away... I miss you guys! Hope the rest of the cell at TCC@Adam are doing well?