Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus, Shine your light in
Let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen king

michelle
psalms 27:4
RJC Humans
IGNYTE, Trinity@PL
child of God

-2:06 pm

As weird as it might sound, I'm starting to like fasting.

Though I've been awake for almost four hours now without eating anything, I haven't craved food so far. That's a vast improvement from the last time. (: Perhaps it was because I focused my mind of God and spent lunch time alone with Him.

It was so awesome. As I worshipped Him, I felt internal dams being broken, wounds being healed, faith being restored and my spirit renewed. I can't describe how wonderful it feels to truly worship God without any reservations, distractions, or façades, feeling His tangible presence right there in the room, and knowing that He delights in my praises. I guess somehow, the physical hunger does cultivate a spiritual hunger, and an insatiable one at that. I still haven't had enough of Him. Can't wait for "dinner"! (:

It's heartening to know that the whole ministry's fasting and praying together at the same time. When I prayed, it felt different from the times I've prayed during TAWG. I could feel the energy and contagious faith fueled by corporate prayer. Haha, I know it sounds a little far-fetched, but somehow, it was as though all our spirits were linked as one.

I think praying and fasting together is one of the best ways to foster closer bonds and form strong covenantal relationships. I thank God that my cell loves praying too. It's a must-have part of cell every week. Praying together has really fueled my faith, brought my prayer life and relationship with God to a new level. I'm thankful for my dear prayer buddies too. (: Without fellowship, it's very hard to build a strong relationship with God and steadily grow in Him. I love my ministry!

Through prayer, I've gotten really excited about IGNYTE (oh dear, we're going to have a whole generation spell "ignite" with a "y", says Pastor D.) and INFUSED. They're going to be all that I will think about these three days. Of course, after that, I'll still be praying but I believe that these three days of fasting and prayer are very crucial. We need to cover our pastors, adult leaders, camp committee and everyone in the ministry with prayer.

Matthew 9:29 says, "According to your faith will it be done to you." I know He will answer our prayers, because we trust in Him.
0comments



-11:39 pm


0comments



-1:16 pm

Today's motion: Marrying a person would not change a thing about how his/her feelings for you.

Opposition (Speaker 1): This House believes that marriage would change the feelings of a person towards his/her fiancee/fiance.

Firstly, let us expound the definition of marriage. According to the Merriam-Webster's definition, it is:

1 a : the state of being married
b : the mutual relation of husband and wife
c : the institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family

2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities

3 : an intimate or close union.

However, we cannot merely rely on politically correct definitions to fully elucidate the complex concept of marriage. How about the more intangible aspects of marriage like the strength of a loving relationship? It is indeed a difficult concept to grasp and comprehend. Nevertheless, we shall attempt to extract as much of its meaning in order to arrive at the understanding that marriage does change one's feeling towards another.

As much as marriage is a legal declaration and contract, it is also about showing your other half how serious you are about him/her, a lifelong commitment in which you pledge to love each other "till death do us part". It might sound so idealistic but in reality, faithful marriages do exist (i.e. they really love each other till death does them part, unlike those short-lived/shotgun celebrity marriages).

If a man proposes to woman, it shows that he is ready for the commitment, would only love her for the rest of his life and desires to spend the rest of his days with her. Instead of remaining indifferent, her love for him would be in fact strengthened and the relationship would progress to another level, to become more intimate, more serious and more readily committed. If he isn't ready, he would not be able to broach the subject of marriage because it entails commitment and total faithfulness to only one woman.

To say the two words "I do" at the altar requires immense courage, confidence in both oneself and one's partner, and of course, a strong, compelling love for the other half. Marriage, like the words of the pledge both man and wife would say, would mean still loving your spouse despite all odds, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. This would indeed test one's love for his/her husband/wife, when both are called to face different challenges which will threaten to dissolve or dilute one's love for the other. Being able to endure the storms of married life would definitely fortify a relationship as the couple faces life's journey together as each other's soulmate.

We must be careful not to reduce marriage to just a technical term used to describe the status of one's love life. Most people see marriage as a political and social institution, by which people are conveniently defined in terms of family, personal status, and whether one would be eligible to apply for citizenship on behalf of a foreign bride etc, etc. However, we must bear in mind that marriage is not primarily an institution, but more importantly, a tangible manifestation of a couple's love for each other.

The big C-word COMMITMENT cannot be avoided. But once it is embraced by both husband and wife, it is really the bond that cements their relationship, the fuel that drives the relationship through the rough journey of life, the wings that enables it to soar to new heights, leading to a truly loving, mutually edifying friendship which makes life worth living.

0comments



-1:44 pm

I was posed a question, from a recent post on someone's blog, and it has given me food for thought. His post was about young people making out in public (i.e. "kissing, fondling and monkeying in that scandalous sense in public areas"). I responded to his post with this comment (I've since edited it here and added more substantial points):

"This kind of behaviour, to me, cannot be condoned. Teens our age are always making out all over the place, in the bus, on the MRT trains, in parks etc. It's disgusting. I really can't stand it, especially when I'm out with my younger brothers. Most of the time, they don't really care who is in the vicinity (like whether there are any younger children around); they just have eyes for each other. I think this is really inconsiderate and irresponsible behaviour.

I mean, I don't think that they should be so touchy-feely with each other at this age, even if they are going steady. For me, I don't believe that serious relationships can start or work out while we're still students. Why the rush? We should focus on our studies right now, develop as a person, realise our potential and make the best of our youth. We'll have plenty of time when we're older, more mature, having discovered who we are as a person and are ready for commitment.

I do think that making out in public is definitely inappropriate. It is not a moral judgement, but rather, more an issue of defending the rights of the people around us. Yes, our peers in question may argue that it's their business and we shouldn't be busybodies, that they have the right to do whatever they want and it's not harming anybody, but the public also has the right to be spared inappropriate displays of affection (to put it lightly).

Have they considered how others would feel seeing them make out like that in public? It's a sight hard to avoid, especially if you are in a crowded MRT train and they are right in front of you.

I believe in a girl's basic modesty. She should protect her dignity and not allow her boyfriend (or just any guy) to take liberties with her. The girl is at fault as much as the boy is. Yes, the guy may be the one initiating the physical contact but the girl could have put a stop to it. Even if I'm in a relationship, I won't go beyond holding hands and a peck on the cheek. It might sound so old-school but I believe it protects the relationship from degenerating to physical attraction or lust.

Loving someone isn't just about liking how they look; more importantly it is about the person's character and inner beauty. A relationship based solely on physical attraction will never last. It isn't real love; it's lust. We shouldn't let lust cloud our senses and blind us to what the person is like deep down inside. Let's face it- I guess desires are quite natural, thanks to hormones and the automatic nervous system in males, but we must constantly fight the urge to follow our emotions or go with the flow. Peer pressure and mass media can be a strong influence but we need to stand upon God's word and learn to say no to temptations.

Anyways, God made man and woman for each other, and the sexual pleasures are only meant to be enjoyed after marriage. God blessed us with the ability to feel and the physical mechanisms for intimate relationships but it is not meant to be frivolously used with just anyone.

If you truly love someone, you'll want to keep yourself pure for that person. It's my way of being sincere and honouring my future spouse as well. The same goes for guys too. If the other person is truly meant for you, he/she will wait. Since both of you know that sex is not what your love is built upon and is not essential in the courting stage, you will be willing to wait for each other. It takes faith, patience and perseverance for a relationship to withstand the test of time and temptations, after which it will emerge assuredly as true love.

I know that majority of the people in our generation do not think like me and might scoff at all that I've said here. But God has called us to be a holy and blameless people for Him in a crooked and depraved generation, in which we will shine like stars in the universe. [Philippians 2:14-16] I don't care what people think or say, I will stand up for what I believe in and do what's right, to live by my principles and not conform to the pattern of this world.

All I have to say about people who make out in public is that they are not mature enough to fully comprehend the implications and consequences of their actions. Ironically, most people think that once they're sexually active or at least have some experience with the opposite sex, they're matured. But true maturity and wisdom comes from understanding what love is all about and striving to maintain the purity of a relationship."

Most don't make a big deal out of frenching and making out, but I ask, why do you engage in that sort of behaviour if you're a confident person who is sure of yourself? I think girls who let their boyfriends do all sorts of things with them are insecure. Contrary to belief, they do not exude confidence. Instead, I think that they are too meek to stand up for themselves. They're afraid of losing their boyfriends, thinking that saying no would put them off. But if he's a guy and a respectable gentleman, he will want to honour you and keep his hands off.

I was just surfing online quizzes yesterday out of utter boredom when I came across one titled something like "how hot are you? (for girls only)". Out of curiosity, I clicked on it and there were questions like how do you kiss- one of the options was "with a lot of tongue"- and what you would do if a guy flirts with you. I was quite amused because these are not gauges of how "hot" a person is, if you choose to define it as the attractiveness quotient.

To me, the most attractive quality of a guy is that he is on fire for God. That is my number one criteria. I don't care how he kisses, or whether he has great abs. Physical appearances are given was too much importance when people talk about the criteria for a boyfriend/ girlfriend. For a girl, having an independent spirit, daring to speak up and stand up for what you believe in is what makes one "hot". You don't have to give in to whatever your guy may want. There is this thing called The Freedom of Choice, in case you didn't know. Don't tell me that you don't have a choice because you sure have a voice and legs to help you walk/ run away when things start to get out of hand. Ok I know I'm digressing a little so I'll steer this post back to the question it started with.

Why do people make out in public? I can only think of a few answers, some of which do not make sense to me:

• To show how in love they are
  (like a physical declaration to the world)
  
• Because it's cool (is it really?)
  
• Because all their friends are doing it with their steads
  (must you be a sheep? baa baa...)
  
• To show that they are mature (haha...)

Well, it might sound like I'm poking fun at these couples who are *ahem* overly expressive of their affections (if you want to put it in a nice way), but I really think that they need to wake up. Even if they don't want to right the wrongs before it's too late for their own sakes, they should at least think about the poor, long-suffering public (including my friend and I) who are constantly assaulted by these rude sights.

I've said my piece. Do comment, even if you disagree with me big time, especially if you're one of those people who like making out in public- you're welcome to argue your case. (: You might think I sound so holier than thou but hey, it's only my opinion. Although you may criticise my point of view, you may not use profanities (though I know you probably have a whole vocabulary bankful of them), hurl abuse or embark on personal attacks. Thank you and have a nice day. (:

I do hope that our society will not only talk about becoming a more gracious and cultured first-world global city, but actually take action to change mindsets and adopt more civilised attitudes. Perhaps when our youth of today start to change themselves for the better (myself included), Singapore will have a hope for the future. Ok I'm starting to sound like an old grandma/ the MOE so I shall stop now.

Let's go on a Anti-(Outrageous)Making-Out-In-Public campaign!

0comments



-11:59 am

Oh wow I just found out that Corrinne May is an alumnus of RGS! Awesome! Haha, it's really great to know that another Rafflesian sister has carved out a niche for herself, and is touching many lives in a huge way with her music. Here's the post which sounds eerily similar to mine. The way she writes is so beautiful too! Her style is indeed unique, as it is in her songs. It's really encouraging to know that fellow Rafflesians are living their dreams, that our aspirations can be achieved. Indeed, sisters in learning and sisters at heart, life lies before us, here's luck to the start.

This is post is dedicated to all my dear friends from the graduating Class of 2005. Yes, Hamsie, this one is for you too, thanks to your polite request. (:

You guys have really changed my life in ways you might not realise. The special bonds and friendships formed will always be so dear to me. The memories of us together, mugging hard for exams, trying to stay awake in class, teasing each other about our "scandals", struggling to sing the impossibly-high-pitched national anthem loud enough for Mrs. Chan to hear and our silly antics will remain in my mind like a slideshow of photographs. I'll review them from time to time, calling them out from the depths of my treasure chest of memories, and smile at the recollection of the good old days.

Though most of us are all going on to RJC, we will most likely go different ways with our different subject combinations and specialisations. To my dearest class of 411, you guys have really painted my world in so many different colours of varying brightness and shades. Being the only class that doesn't take physics, we are indeed a special bunch because we share a common weakness: Maths. Thanks to the wonderful Mrs. Chew though, we miraculously managed to pass Maths (some, with flying colours) and survive a whole two years of trigo, algebraic quadratic equations, graphs (now groan with me, "But Mrs. Chew, do we have to?") and other excrutiatingly painful topics.

The teachers may recognise us as quite a notorious class, but I think they all know that we are a unique bunch of students, gifted in areas which might not necessarily be academic, with diverse talents and quirks (like Ren Hui's one-woman magic shows). I want you to know, I'm really proud of our class. My upper secondary years were my two most memorable and enjoyable years in school. Thank you for all the fun, laughter, support and love. I won't forget.

To Weiz, this one is specially for you. You are such a dear friend to me, as squishable as my fat hamster (I'm not saying that you're fat though, you are so toned man, so keep working on those abs!) and as cute as Hamtaro. You're a really special person (don't ever think you're not) and I'm so glad to have found a friend in you. You've cheered me up when I was down and brightened up my day countless times. Thank you. Let's morph into tomboys in JC so that we won't have any boy trouble! Haha (: You rock, Hamsie, and you know it.

To the three other long-suffering prefects of 411, Juliet, Kar Wei, and Cynthia, you guys are awesome! Julee, I'll never forget your encouragement and motherly instincts. (: Your words and support meant a lot to me. Kars, your wacky (and a little skewed) sense of humour is always a much welcomed comic relief for me. I admire your serious side of professional work ethics and leadership. Thanks for being such a great friend. Cyn, I really can't say all that I want to say to you in this post because it's getting kind of long so I'll write you a long long letter, which I know you'll like. (: In short, thanks for being my best friend and going through so much with me without giving up on me. What you've given me and taught me is priceless and you've really shown me what true friendship is all about. Love ya loads! *hugs*

To Fianza, the batch of 2005, we've been through so much together and have come so far. The journey has really been a life-changing experience in more ways than one. Thanks for all the songs, encouragement, support, and yes, even the tears. I've learnt so much from every single one of you. The Board won't be the same without all of us cookies, so unique in different ways but we compliment each other so well, just like the tinful of chocolate chip cookies. ;) Even as we go our separate ways, let's keep the spirit of Fianza and RGSPB burning bright, wherever we go and in whatever we do. Shut out the light (shut out the light), I'm still not afraid (afraid), cos you're there to hold my hand.

To the sec. 4 batch of Tribuners, you guys are such a eccentric but funky bunch! I guess writers are always a little off up there. *taps the skull* Thanks for a wonderful 4 years of rushing articles in time for deadlines which we never meet, thinking of crazy ideas for articles, correcting each other's grammar and typos in the freezing Raffles Room with temperamental computers and surviving the change of teacher i/c. *grins* To my dear EXCO, thanks for a memorable two years of planning, organising and coordinating various Trib. activities together. I'll never forget those times when it's already 5.30pm on a Tuesday evening when we try to get out of having those draggy EXCO meetings which can go on forever.

Special thanks goes to Suat (: Though we only got to be really close friends since sec. 3, you're as dear as a sister to me. We share about so many things (especially about *ahem* hahaha, Suat you 'lil heartbreaker you) and you always make my day during Tribune sessions. I wonder how I could have survived without you. I hope we will remain good friends even though you're going full steam ahead into the Science stream (ah I can't believe you're giving up Lit!).

The time I've spent in RGS has been one of the most priceless experiences I've had, and I'm sure, I'll ever have. I've fallen more than once, picked myself up with the help of my friends and teachers, learnt so much more than just academic knowledge and skills, made so many fantastic friends and will leave with a truckload full of precious memories. You, my friends, have given me so much. So richly received, so willing give. I hope that we'll all keep the Raffles spirit burning strong and bright as we take on the challenges of the future to achieve our highest aspirations.

Here's one of my favourite quotes by Nelson Mandela and I hope that you too will find a powerful inspiration from his words of wisdom.



Once a Rafflesian, always a Rafflesian. Someday, we'll meet each other again and we will remember the bond which forever unites all of us- the fact that we are all Rafflesians at heart. Let's aspire, strive and dare to be active creators of a better age for all. And in all Rafflesian-ness, I shall end with a

Filiae Melioris Aevi. (:


Things will change next year. Will you?
0comments



-10:53 pm

I have been sitting around at home, eating, sleeping and getting fat. It feels like I'm preparing to go into hibernation any time soon because I've been sleeping so much, feeling rather lethargic and eating more than usual. My gluttony is almost like I'm trying to store extra energy for the long, cold winter. When school starts next year, you'll probably see me padded with extra insulation against the cold, just like the polar bears.

Speaking of cold, I'm freezing my toes off right now. The chilling wind's blowing through the window and brings with it a special scent which comes every season of cold. It whispers in my ears that the time for jubilation is here- Christmas! It's my favourite celebration of the year. (: It makes me want to curl up in my warm bed with a nice big cup of hot chocolate while listening to Christmas songs.

The marble flooring of my house really drains off all the heat from my feet so I'll put on thick, warm socks too. This is the time of the year when I wish that we had chosen parquet flooring instead of marble for the renovation. However, who am I to complain? Some kids in countries devastated by war, natural disasters and epidemics do not even have a proper roof over their heads. Christmas is also a time of giving, to remember what we are so generously blessed with and to give to others who lack these blessings.

Most people miss the whole meaning of Christmas as they get into the festive mood by buying and receiving presents, throwing parties and everything. It's really a season exploited for commercial purposes. It's easy to forget what Christmas is truly all about when Christmas sales are advertised almost everywhere as the 25th of December draws near. To me, it's a time to remember and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, the Messiah, even though He was not actually born on the 25th of December. However, the special message behind Christmas is lost as it becomes more like a secular holiday all around the world.

The good side to this is that even as non-Christians celebrate Christmas, we can invite them to our Christian celebrations and share with them the love of Jesus. It is indeed a season when our pre-believer friends can also join in alongside with us in rejoicing. Hopefully, it is through the story behind Christmas that they can come to know Him as a personal Lord and Saviour.
0comments



-11:30 am

Hey girl,

Thanks for the awesome chat last night. I'm really glad that we can talk about things and get the misunderstandings cleared up. Thank you for being honest with me. I must say that it takes great courage to tell me how you feel. I just wish that there's something I can do to make you feel better but I guess it's not for me to help.

I know the affairs of the heart are really affecting you. What's more, this morning's revelation came as a shock to me. Haha, I'd have never expected it but I guess it does make sense. I hope you're not dwelling on these complicated matters but keeping focused on God and not let your emotions distract you from living a life of purpose and passion.

I know it's really difficult to get over it; remember that I'm in the same boat. (: But you know what, God is here to help! Pray that He will give you the strength and self-discipline to control your thoughts. Channel your energy and use your think-space for more significant things. It's not impossible to forget, it just takes time to dilute the feelings and wash away the painful memories. Give yourself that allowance to deal with it slowly, but yet know that in order to completely be free, you need to take action.

You may be thinking that letting go might be risky because you don't know if things will turn out differently. However, remember that God has a special someone reserved just for you! Who he is, you don't know yet, but when they time is right, he'll come along and you'll know that you've found the person God meant for you as a soulmate.

For me, I'm assured that I don't need to worry about things like that because it's all in God's hands. He has a special plan for my life, of which the details are still unknown, but I'll trust Him completely to direct my path and help me make the right decisions.

We were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves?

If you look at the big picture from the right perspective, I think we're all quite silly to get upset over small, insignificant little problems like these. It's a waste of time, energy, emotions and think-space to ruminate on them. I've learnt to keep my focus on God and not let my emotions rule my mind, not allowing myself to be distracted by clinging on to feelings which are slowly eating away at my faith and sanity. (:

My dear sister, I pray that you will find all that you need in God. He's the only one who can satisfy your need to be loved and love in return. Look to Him and you will find that peace and assurance which nothing else can give. If it's love you're looking for, you're barking up the wrong tree if you turning to mere people for emotionally dependent relationships. You don't want to get embroiled in those. Man disappoints, but God never does.

Anyways, I'll keep you in prayer and I hope that we can continue to be frank with each other. I had a great time last night laughing over the silly details we pointed out which were rather hilarious. It's good to take to these problems in a light-hearted manner and positive attitude. Sometimes, it's better not to take things too seriously. I try to laugh most of it off and it helps. (:

When there's a will, there's a way. When there is God, there'll definitely be a faster and more effective way! It's not something you can resolve on your own; you need God. As you seek Him with all of your heart and soul, you will find Him in the quiet place and He will come and fill the God-shaped vacuum in your heart, only if you let Him. As you place Him as the centre of your life and your first love, you will find that forgetting will become so much easier because the love of the Father is overtaking everything else.

God does not love as Man does, for He heals, He restores and He releases. May you find that love which you've been searching for in the Father's everlasting arms, for He is still there patiently waiting for you to come back into His embrace.
1comments



-5:25 pm

The title of this post is a line from the chorus of our school song, which we sang for the very last time last night at the end of graduation dinner at the Meritus Mandarin ballroom. It didn't quite hit me that I'll be leaving my alma mater until last night was in full swing.

I'm really glad I went in the end. I guess my previous post was written out of pre-prom jitters. I spent the night taking pictures (like everyone else) and hardly sat down to eat the $60 dinner that we paid for.

Perhaps I shall recount yesterday's sequence of events chronologically. I woke up at 8am to write my speech because I won the title of Most Likely To Be Next RGS Principal, among other MLT titles like Superstar, Tai-Tai and President. After hurriedly writing my speech, I went for the morning rehearsal at the hotel together with the other MLT winners and pageant nominees. Hit Orchard Road after that to look for my white shawl (yes I know that's really last minute but I couldn't go without a shawl). Hunted around Far East and Novena before finally going back to Lucky Plaza at Orchard to get two for a really good price.

Got home at about 3pm and was really running late. I was supposed to be at Cynthia's at 4pm to get ready together. Managed to catch a ride from my dad so I got there at about 5pm. It was a mad mad rush trying to do our hair, nails and make-up because we had to leave at 6pm. We ended up leaving at 7pm instead. Took a cab down (burnt a hole in both our pockets at the same time) and managed to get there in time for the first course to be served. What we missed were the speeches so it was just as well.

I was blessed with a really bad runny nose since the morning and it seemed to worsen when it was time for me to make that speech. There were too many pregnant pauses because I had to swipe at my nose with a crumpled piece of tissue and wait for everyone to shush and listen. The noise level was really high as everyone was milling around taking pictures but oh well, despite repeated pleas for silence, no one really took heed. I just finished the speech without caring if anyone listened and walked off the stage. I felt soooo relieved to be done with that embarrassing speech and it was as though a huge burden have been lifted off. I'm not kidding, the nerves were that bad. It was really good to know that the people who knew me listened though. After the speech, they came up to me and congratulated me. I had to put up with everyone teasing me about becoming the next RGS principal. Even the Principal Mrs. Deborah Tan and our VP Mrs. Chan couldn't resist a tease too.

Anyways, dinner was sumptuous but I didn't get to taste much of it because I was busy taking photos with friends. It was such a blast. Everyone looked really different and gorgeous, such that I couldn't recognise some people. The transformation was amazing. I was soooo glad that Mrs. Tan came! She missed netball carn and our class dinner so I thought she wouldn't turn up but she did! I love her to bits! She's such a great form teacher and friend. I'm going to miss her, Mr. Chia, Mrs. Koh and my other teachers so much next year.

The night ended on a high note with the singing of the school song and everyone was basically really high. It didn't feel like we were saying goodbye (well, technically not, since most of us will be seeing each other at RJC next year) but in some sense, FAM did bring sort of a closure. I think the organising committee did a fantastic job and everyone had a smashing time.

My heels were killing me as I walked out of the hotel so I changed into my slippers, not caring if people thought I looked weird in a dress and slippers. I was so relieved to finally reach home and immediately went to clean all that gunk off my face, take a cool, refreshing shower and fall flat on my bed. The make-up made me feel so uncomfortable. Oh, and I had such a difficult time trying to remove the nail polish. I practically took forever and I tell you, nail polish isn't good for your nails. If Cynthia's mom didn't paint them for me, I would never have thought of doing it.

And nope, contrary to what most people do, I won't be posting up the photos I took. It's way too embarrassing (I think I looked rather weird) and anyways, I think they're too special to just post online in such a flippant manner. If you want a peek, you'll have to ask me for them.

Sisters in learning and sisters at heart
Life lies before us here's luck to the start.

Hey, I guess you were right. Thanks for saying what you said and I want you to know, I kept your words in mind last night. I really did enjoy myself like you told me to and I'm glad to have you for a friend. Thanks once again and enjoy your monday night's graduation dinner! (:
0comments



-3:15 pm

Wow I haven't blogged in a week. That's pretty impressive, considering that I used to need to blog almost everyday or else I'd die of boredom. I haven't been using the computer much this week as well. I think I've curbed my unhealthy dependence on the computer and internet. Yay!

Now that it's the holidays, my days usually start at around 12pm -1pm, because I tend to sleep at 12am and then wake up for lunch. Still, the 12 hours of sleep causes me to feel extremely lethargic in the day. Hence, I still haven't cleaned out my pig sty of a room or written my farewell notes to my classmates and teachers yet.

Speaking of farewell, Farewell Alma Mater Night (FAM for short) is tomorrow. What I'm feeling now is nowhere near excited anticipation or whatever any normal girl would feel before a prom night where she can dress up, do her hair and make-up, and spend a ridiculous amount of money just to look glam for ONE NIGHT. If I haven't already paid for the dinner, I wouldn't go at all. *grumbles*

No offense, but I get most irritated when some of my sec. 4 friends start gushing about their tailor-made dresses (which of course, must have cost a bomb), waxing lyrical about this Bobbi Brown makeover package with a glam photoshoot for $80 (helloo, my dress cost less than that!), wondering how they should get their hair done and blah blah blah. I'm really sorry to say this, but some of them sound downright bimbotic. I really can't stand people like that.

If I sound bitter, or like sour grapes, haha that's not what I truly feel. It's just that I don't think we should spend that much money for a gown that you'll only wear once, for impossibly high stilettos which only goes with the dress and so on, just for a dinner when you'll see everyone else (almost) again next year anyways. I guess the occasion would be different if not for the RP but still, I think it's so overrated.

We're just 16 after all, mere school girls who still get our allowance from our parents. If we were earning our own money, at least it would somewhat justify the extravagant spending. But knowing how hard our parents work just to provide us with a good life, why spend so much money on temporal things like these?

If you think about it, it'll make sense. I could go to the dinner in the most expensive Chanel dress, Gucci handbag and Manolo Blahnik heels and it wouldn't make a single difference in my life. It wouldn't earn me brownie points in heaven, neither will it contribute one hour more to my life or save another soul for the kingdom of God.

But I guess, people can do whatever they want with their money. It's not for me to judge or say. For those who are still on FAM shopping sprees, I hope you find the right dress/shoes/heels/accessories/handbag.
0comments



-8:13 pm

10 Things I Like Love About Him

1. The way he looks when he sleeps- aww, so cute!
   
   
2. His insatiable appetite (He's a food lover, like me!)
   
   
3. The way he looks at me
   
   
4. Those dark, clear eyes you can drown in
   
   
5. His irresistably adorable face
   
   
6. The way he lightly kisses the tip of my nose ever so gently
   
   
7. The way he lets me cuddle him
   
   
8. How he cheers me up and puts a smile on my face when I'm having the lousiest day ever
   
   
9. How he never fails to make me laugh with his funny antics, even when I'm feeling down
   
   
10. The way he loves me.

I love you my darling!

Hey, what were you thinking? I'm talking about Pudding, my beloved and endearingly fat hamster!
0comments



-10:13 pm

I must say, I like this result (: It's funny how a friend just said the exact same thing about me today (the part about knowing where to run when I get discouraged). Go try it out. It does say a lot about your character.


You are Psalms.

Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
1comments



-4:30 pm

I'm down with a phantom fever which refuses to show up on the thermometer but relentlessly plagues me with aches, headaches, feelings of extreme cold (I'm wearing a sweater and long pants as I'm typing this- rather abnormal for Singapore's weather and the air-conditioner isn't turned on). The symptons definitely feel like fever so I know it's there but the thermometer says that my temperature is normal. Hmph.

There's a nasty sore throat and cough too which has turned me into a croaking bullfrog. The discomfort and headache has kept me awake as I slept intermittently last night and during the day. And so, though I feel as though I haven't slept for days and have just been bowled over by a ton of flying bricks (don't ask why this analogy), I'm here at the computer. It's better than tossing and turning in bed, trying to fight a throbbing headache.

My mom thinks it's because I went swimming under the hot sun yesterday. Besides getting quite sunburnt (next time, I'll know to use sunscreen SPF 30 and above), now I have a fever-like bug. I need to get lip balm with SPF too- I think my lips are swelling because they're sunburnt. I reckon I probably look rather grotesque now.

I was doing my laps yesterday in the competition pool and discovered how dirty and unhygienic the pool was (or still is, if they haven't already cleaned it up). While swimming in the cramped space between two lanes taken up by two other guys, I had to dodge pieces of mysterious UFOs (Unindentified Floating Objects) every now and then.

There were really weird stuff like yellowish, translucent blobs of bodily discharge wafting around (I couldn't tell whether it was mucus from some poor person down with a runny nose or a discharge from somewhere else *shudders in disgust*), suspended in the otherwise clear blue water, and used band-aids with some blood and pus still sticking on it. EWWWW!!! Can you imagine what goes into your system whenever you accidently swallow a few mouthfuls of pool water? Double yucks!

Hm... Maybe the sun isn't the real culprit which caused my fever-like symptons, if you get what I mean. On second thoughts, never mind, I don't want to know.

I was so grossed out and tired of having to swim in a bizzare zig-zag fashion to get out of the way of those icky UFOs (the lifeguard must have been thinking that I have absolutely no sense of direction) that I quickly climbed out and joined my brothers in the smaller pool. It totally spoilt my planned swimming time of 1hr 15 mins (that's not quite enough but we had to get home in time for dinner). The 45 minutes I swam are hardly enough to give me aching muscles when I wake up the next morning (I thrive on exertion *grin*).

However, I am determined not to let this scare me off swimming. Oh, and this reminds me, I'd better bring along a disinfecting shower cream (like Dettol) the next time I go swimming.
0comments



-11:15 am

It's strange how I'm not feeling sad or reminiscent, having ended my secondary school education two days ago. On Friday, people kept asking me if I was reluctant to leave and somehow, I couldn't bring myself to admit that I didn't feel what they felt- a sense of loss and nostalgia.

Formal farewell was on Wednesday and I must say, it was indeed as special one because we bade farewell to our dear VP, Mrs. Chan, too as she will be retiring at the end of the year. I discovered that besides our school having a rock band of teachers, we also have a mini choir/ chorus called EnSombre comprising of Ms. Yeo, Mr. Sham, Mrs. Cheriyan, Mr. Toh and Ms. Tan BC, who were all wearing black, hence the name EnSombre. (Quick laugh, it's a pun!) Not to forget, Ms. Leow provided a hilarious portrayal of Mrs. Chan, even donning an IJ uniform and a wig.

It was an immensely entertaining performance and I must applaud the teachers for managing to come up with this musical of sorts despite busy schedules and heavy workloads from options, writing our tesimonials and getting our final reports ready.

Despite singing the very cliché Graduation song by Vitamin C together with my class during the finale, I didn't feel anything at all. Most of my classmates were in a sentimental mood, albeit the fact that there weren't that many tears, if there were any at all.

As for my lack of sentiments with regards to my departure from RGS, I guess it is perhaps because I know that most of us will see each other in RJ next year. If we were all going to different JCs, it'll be a totally different story all together. I find that I'm looking ahead instead of looking back at my four years in RGS. The future excites me and I tend to focus on that, trying not to think too much about leaving my alma mater and dear teachers behind.

Friday was our last official day in school and we had a special treat lined up for us, or so I thought. Two (supposedly well-known) bands Ronin and West Grand Boulevard came down to perform. Power 98 DJs Jeremy Ratnam and Soo Wei were there too. West Grand Boulevard (I've never heard of them before this) took the stage first and turned our girls into screaming, boyband-mad groupies who all ran to the front and gazed adoringly at the "cute" guys .

It was the same when Ronin came on and everyone, sans sane people like myself, Sara, Av and some other people who detachedly watched the madness from the back of the hall. Goodness me, I was positively shocked. I've never seen such a concentration of raging female hormones all in one place before and I tell you, it's really scary. Rachel Ang came back from backstage quite traumatised and told me that the backstage was swamped with starstruck girls who were all clambering to get autographs from the bands. It was like a scene of mass hysteria, the screaming throng at the front of the hall, people flashing the three-finger love sign at every moment possible, the frenzied jumping and cheering.

Actually, I found it all pretty amusing. The antics of those girls who were infautuated with the guys were entertaining. Perhaps everyone just went wild and let their hair down because it was the last day of school. Besides, as the blonde frontman of Ronin said, "Your teachers gave us the go ahead to let you girls misbehave. (You'd) better enjoy yourselves now before you get your results". He was quite foul-mouthed as well. He openly sweared every now and then, only stopping short of using the four-letter word starting with F. When he said, "You girls are a freaking, kick-ass audience," the crowd went wild. It was unbelievable how chaotic the hall had become and the feeling was surreal because after all, we were in a school hall.

The music was pretty good, except that Ronin's style was a little too heavy metal for me. Not to mention that the volume was on full blast too. West Grand Boulevard was more teenager-friendly rock with songs like Flights of Fancy. It was really funny though, how the lead singer's cap kept flying off his head when ever he started jumping around madly. Mrs. Chan came in when Ronin was performing (I think) and went out after less than a minute. I guess she couldn't take it too.

Though the mass hysteria was hard to resist, I refused to join the crowd and go mad for those bands. If I were to ever go mad like this, I'll only do it for God. It's a totally different thing to sing, dance, jump and cheer for Jesus. I merely sat at the back and watched the scene without actually getting really into the music. I mean, songs like "You've Got Mojo" (guess, by which band?) are hardly worth singing along to right? I prefer alternative rock (Christian bands like Switchfoot and Kutless) as the music agrees with me better and the lyrics have a deeper meaning. I left the concert with an incessant ringing in my ears. I'll have Ronin to thank if I go deaf.

We got back our results after operation clean up (I had to clean all the window sills myself because we didn't pass the clean check and no one else was around). I guess I'm pretty satisfied with what I got because I improved for all my subjects, especially Maths and Bio, with the exception of Social Studies (my EOI was too botched up). I got back my Bio options quiz too. Before Mr. Chia handed it back to me, he was like, "Oh yea, this one is the insane one." I was waiting in trepidation because I thought he meant I did horribly. But miracles of miracles, I got 23/25, the highest of the classes who took the enriched modules and did better than 90% of the students who took med bio, according to him. Surprising eh? Considering that I didn't quite study for it, at least not as hard as Cynthia.

Since Friday was the 4th of November, we had class dinner to celebrate our class' birthday (4-11-05 --> 411 of 2005, get it?). Met Hamsie, who wore faded jeans torn at the knees, at the train station and we went to Swensens at Suntec for the dinner. Since we were too early, we strolled around and window shopped for a bit at city link mall. Six has really beautiful jewelry but I'm not spending anymore on accessories. Dinner was really fun because Mr. Chia turned up, missing CG so that he could come and have a last supper with us (awww... so sweet!). I'm really going to miss him next year. When he's hanging with us outside of school, he's not a teacher but more like our friend- a really cool, funky and humorous friend. His brand of dead-pan humour is truly unrivalled.

Mrs. Chew, our maths teacher, brought her too kids too! They're so cute! That includes Mrs. Chew too. I can't believe her daughter thought that Mr. Chia was my boyfriend. At first she was like, "So who's that boy? Is he a new boy in your school?" I was quite bewilded and it took some time for me to realise that she was referring to Mr. Chia. Then, she went, "Is he your boyfriend?" I got to shock of my life! Mr. Chia is married with a one year old daughter! You should have seen his face- a mix of shock and amusement.

Haha, it's either I look a lot older than I really am, or that Mr. Chia looks younger than his age (I think he's in his mid/late-twenties). So I asked her how old she thinks Mr. Chia is and she said 19. Haha, I wonder if she thought I was 19 too. When I expressed my surprise, she went, "No what, I think you're very pretty, you're very suitable what." Hahahaha... that was the joke of the day. When Adelyn and I were trying to convince her that Mr. Chia is our bio teacher, Mr. Chia played along and tried to make her believe that he really is 19. It was hilarious!

Dinner was a huge blast and I'm so glad I sat with Avonne, Sara, Mr. Chia and Hamsie. We laughed until our sides split (it was mostly Avonne and Sara laughing at me though- they kept suaning me) and talked about the most nonsensical stuff. And Avonne, thank you for telling Mr. Chia and completely embarrassing me. He kept teasing me after that. He told Mrs. Chew's daughter when she asked if he was my boyfriend, "No lah, I lost to some other guy already. *winks*" !!!!! I was SOOOO EMBARRASSED!

I'm so glad I made it for this class dinner and am heartened (somewhat pleasantly surprised too) that almost everyone turned up. I love my class and that's an understatement. Being in 411 has been a great experience and I must say that the two most enjoyable years I've spent in RG are my sec 3 and 4 years. I'll miss my really weird, funky, unique and anti-physics classmates.

411, thank you.
0comments



-11:29 pm

Today: I went to SGH with Jiaying to visit a friend but we found out that she was already discharged a few days ago. It was good news but bad news for us because we had to arrange for another day to visit her, and I really wanted to see her. Anyways, Jiaying's dad kindly offered to drop me at Harbourfront because it was still early and I could meet my family for lunch.

Walked around a little while waiting for them to arrive and browsed some shops with really gorgeous earrings and dresses but were too expensive. There was this place having some huge sale and the evening dresses were really affordable and nice. BUT I've already gotten my FAM dress so I could only look at some other girl trying them out in front of the mirror. The shimmering blue satin one she was trying on looked really good on her but it was kind of like a tube but with two thin straps over the shoulders. The other dresses looked just as good but I figured that my parents wouldn't allow me to wear such revealing stuff anyways.

After a while, I convinced myself that I shouldn't succumb to peer pressure (I have a feeling there'll be too many cleavages and bare backs in the Mandarin ballroom on 17th November). God's voice rang in my mind: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world. It always works to keep me from straying (:

The above would prove to be extremely ironic in contrast with what I was about to experience.

After lunch, I went to Tanjong Pagar mrt station to meet Sara, Av and Hannah to go for the Watoto Children Choir concert today at Fairfield Methodist Church. Then I had to take the train back to Outram Park where I came from because they were *ahem* running late so they wanted to take a cab down from Outram. I came out from a different exit because I was taking the East-West line while they took NEL and spent ten whole frustrating minutes searching for *grrrr* --> EXIT H <-- where they were waiting. In the end, I gave up and took a cab down myself because it was 2.10 and the concert had already started. Blowed 5 bucks on cab fare. Boo. It could have gone to a worthier cause, which I'll elaborate on later.

Aptly titled Concert of Hope, the performance was a really touching experience for me. All the children in the choir are from the Watoto (which means "children" in Swahili) Child Care Ministries in Uganda, founded by Pastor Gary and Marilyn Skinner in 1983. All of them have gone through the trauma of losing their parents to deadly epidemics like AIDS and the civil war.

Check out www.watoto.com.

The most moving thing about them was that here were about twenty Ugandan orphans, from 7 to 12 years old, who have gone through the most unimaginable trauma in their young lives, yet, every single one of them had bright, earnest smiles on their faces, singing, praising God and enthusiastically dancing along to the beat of the African drums as their clear voices filled the auditorium. Watching and hearing them sing a cheerful, up-tempo song the moment I sat down, my eyes just filled with tears which spilled uncontrollably down my cheeks. It was weird because the song was one that was happy and upbeat but I couldn't control the wave of emotions as I thought of how much they have gone through.

This carried on for the rest of the concert. Every now and then I would have to inconspicuously reach for my tissue pack as I felt God's spirit moving. I knew God was in the house. His presence was so strong and just like the words of a song they sang, He dwells in the praises of His people, especially His little ones who sang with such gusto, and sincerity. I didn't quite focus on the acoustics and the vocal aspect of their singing but to me, they were pitch-perfect and their choral harmony was immaculate. I hung on their every word, though some songs were in Swahili but nonetheless, I silently worshipped in spirit together with them and I tell you, God's presence was overwhelmingly real.

Their energetic songs were interspersed with short speeches by various little ones about their story and how God's love have given them hope and a new home. I admired their courage to share their desolate past. As the children spoke of their past experiences one by one, the pain they went through was evident- loneliness, desperation, hunger, rejection, being deprived of love, helplessness. But as they talked about how God lifted them out of a life of poverty and hopelessness, their little faces brightened up and what really touched me was how they spoke of God's amazing love. As one little boy put it, "God's blessings are SOOOOO AMAZING!" Yes, he really emphasized the last two words. I could tell that for such young souls, they truly understood what it meant to call God their heavenly Father, to know that His love is never failing and that He gives hope to all.

At first, I didn't quite know why the tears came in floods but Pastor Gary gave me the answer at the end of the concert when he said something along the lines of "You must have had laughter and tears. The tears aren't tears of sadness or pity; they are tears of compassion. Yes, that's what it's called. I want you to know that it's that same compassion which Jesus has for the fatherless and the lost that is trying to get out right now."

In a video, one girl said that she remembers a time when there was no food for a long time. They were so hungry that they "ate dust". I know we can't imagine that, and we must be wondering how on earth they could eat dust even if there was nothing else to eat. But that's because we can't comprehend their desperation and painful struggle to survive. We live in the affluent, yet apathetic city of Singapore where material comfort and gourmet indulgences are the norm. Since we have not experienced their dire circumstances, we cannot truly understand their tragic plight.

The message of God's love and hope really hit home that afternoon, at least for me. The children have found a Redeemer who lifted them out of the darkness and pain to give them a new lease of life. I could feel their gratitude as they sang of His goodness with such earnesty. They have experienced the unconditional love of the Father and they wanted to share it with the world, travelling the globe to bring songs of hope and good news for others.

I walked away a changed person. Literally. I'm not joking. I thought of the times I've begged my parents to buy me a new bag, or an acoustic guitar which costs hundreds of dollars, how I spent carelessly on material things these children would never dream of having, while these Ugandan orphans were starving in the streets, having no one to love and care for them until they are put in Watoto's care. I was overcome with immense shame and guilt. I just wanted to go up to those children, tell them that I'm sorry and give them the warmest, most loving hug I can ever give. But there were just so many of them. I had to be content with just shaking a few of their little hands, thanking them for a wonderful performance at the end.

It was really sweet how all the cute little kids lined up along the aisle and at the entrance to say goodbye and "God bless you" as the people left. I emptied my wallet by donating to the Watoto ministry and spending the last 5 bucks on a $20 Watoto Choir CD which the four of us shared. No, I'm not going all fundraising-mad on you nor will I start championing the cause- "Save The Poor". But I think the world needs more than just people who think they have done their part by mindlessly contributing monetary aid to the needy. After all, what do a few $10 notes mean to most well-to-do Singaporeans? Peanuts (:

As one of the children said, "I know God has a plan for me." By giving what little I had to the children, though it wasn't much, I was glad that somehow, I would make a difference in the lives of these children, who will one day grow up into God-loving Uganda leaders, and become the people God wants them to be.

I left the house in the morning feeling pretty rich because my dad just reimbursed me for a bag I bought some time ago. Ironically, I left the place utterly broke, but not without knowing that I am now richer, richer with God's love and knowing that lives can be changed when our hearts are filled with the compassion of Christ to Make A Difference.
0comments



-10:09 pm

Mm... I haven't updated for a few days already so I shall make up for it with an extra long post. Guess I've been too busy having fun and going out during the double public holidays. But it feels weird, and I feel some sense of guilt too for enjoying myself while all my friends outside of school are studying hard for the coming Os.

I tried going over to Brandon's to study with the rest on tuesday (it was nice of them to invite me and Hannah wouldn't go unless I went) and it was really great to be studying with them again. Though for me, the atmosphere of exam tension wasn't there, it was a good time of studying my greek mythology course notes on Hesiod's Theogony, The Illiad and The Odyssey, which I didn't have the time to finish reading in the duration of my literature option. Both William and I were like, "So, we're both here just for fun." Haha, I was glad to have someone else there who wasn't taking the Os too. He was actually quite serious about studying for a major exam too- the As. He brought a really thick geography A level textbook and kinda freaked me out. A little early but I guess reading up on the JC syllabus is a good way to prep for next year.

Just received a phone call from Renu and found out that I'm nominated for the Most Likely To contest for farewell alma mater night. My first reaction was: "You must be kidding. Did you get the right Michelle? I'm Michelle Lee..." It was only after she told me that it was for Most Likely To Be (school) Principal that I figured that it makes sense because it's just like my class to nominate me, being a prefect, the advocate of school rules and a person with a rather strict demeanor. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing though. I hardly think I ressemble our principal at all.

Anyways, on wednesday, I spent the afternoon with my mum and brothers at my mum's club. The bowling alleys were newly renovated and the games were pretty affordable since we were members. I thought I was the only one who had enough bowling experience to not totally stink and make a fool of myself but I had no idea that my youngest bro, Amos, was under the tutelage of my primary school VP, Mr. Haniff. He could bowl so well! Almost like a pro, I must say. He totally trashed Joe and me in the first game but I bounced back after warming up to the game to get the highest score for the day- 122. Not too bad for an amateur who only bowls like maybe twice a year.

Went swimming after that but the pool wasn't as functional as it was aesthetically beautiful. I sat at the empty pool side bar (you know the kind where counter is right next to the pool and the seats at in the water) to tan for a while before attempting to swim laps in the small pool. It was shaped more in a circular/ blob-like shape than the rectangular olympic size pool I usually use for serious swimming. The swim wasn't quite as fulfilling because the length was rather short. I enjoyed an half an hour bath at the annoyance of my mother before we went for dinner at Balastier. I definitely want to go back more regularly to try out to gym during the hols.
0comments

ben
brian
carissa
charis
charisse
charmaine
chloe low
chuyi
dinesh
jeanette tham
jesselyn
jonathan
mike
nicholas
rachel
shuang
timolty
tinghui adeline
alexiel
glen
mingzong
sandra

aditi
avonne
bren
elspeth
fianza
juliet
pamela
rachel ang
ren hui
sabrina
sara
suat


June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007

Dear friends,

To comment, please

1. click on the "comment" link. The page will refresh to the home page


2. click on "entries" to display the specific post on which you wish to comment


3. click on "entries" again and you will reach the comments page


4. to go back to the main entries page, click on "links" and select the current month from the archives list.
   
   

My most sincere apologies for the inconvenience. I know it's troublesome. But I do hope that it will not deter you from posting your valuable opinions though. If all else fails, there is still the tagboard. (:



layout: jeanette
brushes: moargh
image: dibii
fonts : dafont